Buster of Chops

ToyFare and Wizard Memories

2011-01-30T00:46:00.000-08:00

The Wizard, ToyFare, Anime Insider and Inquest staffs, wearing the spoils of the ToyFare Scavenger Hunt, in 2006.

Even though everyone I know has already written something about the cancellation of the print editions of Wizard and ToyFare magazines (they'll continue online) I felt I had to write something here, since I was there for a good long while. Obviously, I'm sad that some of my few remaining friends there are now unemployed, and I'm also vaguely sad about the slow death of print, but I'm also glad that I made a lot of friends in my time there. I've included links to many of their reactions at the bottom of the page, but I wanted to share some of my memories of the place. (I know it still exists as a company, but it's mostly unrecognizable from what it was, so the hell with it. Also, sorry that my visual history is mostly pictures of me.)

Wizard Office Tour @ Yahoo! Video

A mid-2000s tour of the Wizard offices with Kiel Phegley.

Throughout the 1990s, my brother and I read Wizard regularly, having discovered it at the same time Image Comics took off (WildCATs cover!), and we actually got our Hellboy custom figure featured in their Homemade Heroes section. I had only read a few issues of ToyFare when I interviewed for a copy editor position in the summer of 1999, but I had writing and editing experience, and I'd spent the summer after graduation working for a small novelty company. I started in September 1999, in time for one of the last office scavenger hunts, in which carloads of Wizardites criss-crossed Rockland County, NY, to find a list of random items. The tradition was on its way out, as was the famous Wizard Halloween costume party, but people still dressed up every year for as long as I was there, with varying participation rates. (At left, me as Ash in the cluttered ToyFare office in 2000.)

Hellboy custom figure, made from a Masters of the Universe Fisto. Head sculpted by Ash Oat.

My Halloween costume of Kraven, co-opted for a Wizard Bunny letters-column photo shoot.

In addition to appearing in photo shoots, I also assisted Editor-in-Chief Pat McCallum with them, including Twisted Mego Theatre, later Twisted ToyFare Theatre. Eventually, it was just me working with our photographer, Paul Schiraldi, then it was just me by myself, which meant I could work into the early morning hours in a dark, creaky warehouse. (A bad habit my lovely girlfriend-now-wife Melissa eventually talked me out of.) Back there, I scared myself on a regular basis, and would regularly check over my shoulder to make sure Pat wasn't sneaking up on me, which happened more often than I liked. He was a notorious prankster, throwing dummies off of roofs and wrapping offices in aluminum foil. (Note the foil-wrapped action figure hanging from the ceiling in the Ash picture. A reminder to never forget.) He and I were also regular cosplayers at Wizard conventions, along with Research Editor Dan Reilly. Pat was Galactus, and Dan and I played Doctor Doom. Dan was the hardest-working man in show business, and he was only recently let go when the print editions ended.

Me and wrestler Mick Foley, at the JAKKS Pacific showroom during Toy Fair.

Paul Schiraldi also photographed New York Toy Fair for us every year, but eventually Dan, research assistant Dylan Brucie and I were the ones shooting it, once Paul was scaled back to just covers and photo spreads. (To be fair, most of the photography he was doing for us -- head shots, toys on white backdrops, etc. -- was a waste of his prodigious talent.) When I became ToyFare editor, Dylan and later Alex Kropinak took over shooting TTT, with me approving photos, and Krope used his animation skills to make TTT shorts like the one below. (After watching it, find the other four on YouTube. They're all pretty special.)

Over my eight and a half years, I saw a lot of people come and go, and while many left to pursue better opportunities -- my path up the ToyFare ladder was mostly cleared by people quitting, thankfully -- many were fired. The company regularly swelled to seating capacity in times of growth only to contract to its previous size after a year or two. I saw at least two or three purges in my time there, which meant a lot of my friends were let go, although many got out ahead of a purge -- the purge of early 2008 was what prompted me to leave, since a lot of my best friends at the company were gone by that point. A group of us had a tradition of getting together every few months for a Manly Movie marathon, which ran late into the night, but without us all at least working in the same town, it became more difficult to coordinate. (Luckily, there's still a semi-regular lunch in Manhattan.)

The Wizard gang at the first MMM in 2005. Photo and kitchen by Adam Tracey.

The gang reunited, for lunch in Bryant Park, 2010, with holographic Mel Caylo. Photo by Kropinak.

The magazines weren't what they once were, but it was more than just a page reduction, it was the loss of a lot of these great writers and editors. No offense to those who were, and are, still working there -- my good friend Justin Aclin was still kicking ass on ToyFare, and doing it with fewer people than I had, but now everything's changed. I'm anxious to see how the ToyFare model will change once it hits the Web, and how both Wizard and ToyFare will compete with the numerous sites out there that already do what they do.

Our first (and last) holiday buyer's guide video. After I hawk the toys, Kiel does comics.

My fellow alumni's reactions to the news:

Rob Bricken - Editor of Topless Robot, former editor of Anime Insider, and one of my best friends since 2001.
Doug Goldstein - Robot Chicken writer, former Wizard Specials editor, and my former boss.
Alex Segura, Ben Morse and Mel Caylo (industry round-up) - Former DC/current Archie marketing guru, Marvel.com editor and Archaia marketing guy, respectively. All former Wizard writers/editors.
Mel Caylo (in podcast form) - Still Archaia, still fluffy.
Ryan Penagos - Former Wizard price guide editor, current Marvel.com editor, superstar @Agent_M on Twitter.
Sean T. Collins - Comics journalist, zombie connoisseur and former Wizard editor.
Chris Ward - Former Wizard writer, current loose cannon, future musical superstar, not the rapper.
Poe Ghostal - Longtime ToyFare freelancer.

Transformers: The Marvel Books Years

2011-01-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

I recently dug up one of my childhood story books, about the Transformers. It was a Marvel Books publication, about 10 by 10 inches, paperback -- the same size as some of the He-Man Golden Books that came out back then. (Marvel Books also did a Fantastic Four story that I have.) He-Man artist Earl Norem did the art in it, and he also did another one I have, which is the origin story. This one is about the Autobots wanting to win a road rally, because the prize is oil and gas, and the Autobots are basically homeless people who beg for food. The Decepticons try to stop them, of course, and things get pretty vicious. Frenzy destroys a bridge, Hound blows up real good, and Optimus... well, I'll let these three pictures tell the whole story. Warning: Optimus Prime has a mouth. It's frightening.

Just so you know, the evil-looking car Optimus is hitting with a telephone pole is being driven by none other than Megatron. Just in case you thought Prime was knocking his human competition into the stratosphere.

The Joy of Zach: January 9, 2011

2011-01-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

As I sat watching the mediocre first episode of The Cape, I took a moment to check out my Television Without Pity blog posting, where I said I was looking forward to the first episode. Someone named NBC Hater either saw it and hated it or was pre-judging based on extant reviews, because he called me a corporate shill. Hooray! (I still think it's better than Heroes and No Ordinary Family, but that's not saying much.) Now on to my other writing...

The biggest news of the past few weeks is that I got the opportunity to interview Ron Perlman, one of my favorite actors, in person, for Season of the Witch. You can read the interview here, although my questions have been made to sound more eloquent and less like a nervous fan talking to his idol.

My movie reviews: True Grit, Gulliver's Travels, Little Fockers, Rabbit Hole, Season of the Witch and Barney's Version. (Lesson learned from my Gulliver's Travels review: never say you're on the fence about a film that has already been mostly negatively reviewed, especially one starring Jack Black. People will call you a bad a reviewer and/or to drop dead.) I also saw The Fighter over the holidays with Melissa, and I loved it, as I do most sports movies; Mindy Monez did a great review for TWoP you can read here.

My latest galleries: Nic Cage's witch-hunting tips, the most dysfunctional movie couples and Jack Black's most annoying roles. All exhaustingly researched.

I did a more in-depth analysis of this year's Golden Globes nominations for movies, calling out which movies I thought would win, which should win, and which got overlooked. A lot of my personal picks are likely winners, although who can predict these things? Uh, I mean, who can predict them besides me?

The Winter 2011 movie previews are up, and I personally handled Animation, Action/Thrillers and Sci-Fi/Horror/Fantasy. (Mindy did Comedies and Dramas.) See what's coming up in your favorite genres!

On Twitter, I finished up this year's run on @MisterKrampus, the Twitter account of the famous holiday punisher of naughty children, and some friends and I just started @SmrtConsumer, which is entirely fake reviews of fictional products.

On a sadder note, I'll probably be ceasing work on the Pop Sculpture Twitter and blog, but the book's been out for months, and I don't have the time to promote it any more. It's like watching your child go off to college, and then cutting off all communication with him.

Back soon!

The Joy of Zach: December 18, 2010

2010-12-17T23:16:00.000-08:00

I somehow let two weeks slip by without updating, so I've got a lot to tell you about! Mostly TWoP pieces, but it feels good to see how much I've done there.

- We're doing a lot of year-end wrap-ups at TWoP, including a piece on our favorite movies of the year, which I wrote maybe 70 percent of, and our most hated movies, which I did maybe 40%. What can I say, I'm a positive person.

- My reviews for the past week have been The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Tourist and, just today, Tron: Legacy. One I liked, one I loved, and one I despised with a passion. Read 'em to find out which! Next week I review True Grit and Gulliver's Travels, which I expect to be similarly divided on.

- To tie in to Tron: Legacy, I did a couple of photo galleries: the best and worst virtual realities in film, and other actors who should meet their younger, CGI selves on the big screen, like Jeff Bridges does in Tron. The latter one I'm pretty proud of, if only for the split-panel shots I put together. I also compared Narnia to Middle-Earth, and I jumped the gun and updated our best movie eyepatches gallery for True Grit. I love that gallery.

- I still haven't seen The Fighter, but that didn't stop me from writing a Mark Wahlberg set diary, and from converting my list of the best movies about fighting to a gallery, to tie in to the movie.

- Awards season began in earnest this week, and I posted my responses to the SAG Awards nominations and the Golden Globes. My comment on how wacky the foreign press's picks seem to me was interpreted as American superiority, when I merely meant that different cultures like different things. Like The Tourist, for example.

- Back in the Moviefile, with Yogi Bear coming out this weekend (I won't be reviewing), I ran down some classic Hanna-Barbera animated properties that should get the big screen treatment. I focused more on the action shows than the talking animal shows, because Yogi looks like a train wreck. Think less Hong Kong Phooey, more Herculoids. I also did a fun (I thought) piece on directors who should take over Iron Man 3 now that Jon Favreau's gone.

- I posted a rundown of all of my co-author Ruben Procopio's upcoming projects over at the Pop Sculpture blog. I was actually surprised to find out about some of them, and my rekindled love of Tron has me craving a couple of his pieces. But I've been denying myself even a $10 light-up Tron action figure, so I probably won't be buying myself a bust or statue any time soon. Let me know if the picures don't load for you, because I can't see them half the time.

The Joy of Zach: December 6, 2010

2010-12-06T21:37:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to your one-stop shop for the writing of Zach Oat! This week it's pretty much all Television Without Pity, since I've been inactive on the LAW Blog and the Pop Sculpture Blog, where Tim has been posting his multi-part Jacob Marley bust tutorial. However, since it's Krampus Day, I just started updating the @MisterKrampus Twitter account again! Naughty boys and girls, beware!

- My latest movie reviews for TV Without Pity are The King's Speech and Black Swan, which is probably my favorite Aronofsky film so far, and in support of that I came up with a list of star Natalie Portman's best and worst roles. Putting The Professional on the "Worst" list was painful, but it was something I had to come to terms with.

- The first season of The Walking Dead ended on Sunday, and it also marked the end of the writer's room on the show -- going forward, it's going to be all freelancers under showrunner Frank Darabont. God only knows how that'll work out, but at TWoP we're pretty much all in agreement that the show needs new writers. I was chosen to express our reasoning in song. Well, singable prose.

- Last weekend we lost a great actor in Leslie Nielsen and a great director in Irvin Kershner, so I wrote a couple of posts, one about Nielsen's greatest roles and another about Kershner's other two great sequels that aren't Empire Strikes Back.

- I knew it was too unbelievable to be true when I heard that the Farrelly brothers were going to try to relaunch the Three Stooges in a feature film starring Jim Carrey, Sean Penn and Benicio Del Toro... and it was. The movie changed studios, and Penn and Carrey left, so I decided to re-cast the roles. My buddy Jon Abrams had his own ideas -- but we agreed on one Moe, kinda.

Next week: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Tron: Legacy!

The Joy of Zach: November 24, 2010

2010-11-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

Hey, all. I realize I haven't posted on this blog in a long time, but that's because I blog as part of my day job, and, well, I'm not usually that inspired to write on my blog once I get home. But then I realized: there's no one central place to see everything I write. Since my multi-blogging buddy Jon Abrams asked about it, and successfully posts on several blogs regularly, I figured I'd start doing a writing wround-up every week of my published (well not really published, but you know, fake-published) work. I give you the Joy of Zach!

- This week, I have reviews of Love and Other Drugs, Faster and Tangled up at TWoP.com. I loved Tangled. Best non-Pixar Disney movie since The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The others? Not so much. Also, I reviewed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last week , and I hope to see it again with the missus.

- I also posted my reaction to the Green Lantern trailer. I'm gonna see it, and it looks like fun, but I still think Ryan Reynolds (whom I love) was miscast, and Blake Lively looks awful.

- My massive holiday movie preview is also up, showcasing all the big movies coming out between Thanksgiving and New Year's. I gotta say, besides Tron: Legacy and Black Swan and True Grit and maybe Somewhere, there's not a ton I'm excited about. Although that's plenty, I suppose.

- Tim Bruckner and I've been doing a lot on the Pop Sculpture blog, since the book came out a month ago (less than that on Amazon, due to some kind of glitch), and the last thing I did was an interview with contributor Jim McPherson, who's a digital sculptor at Gentle Giant. He also used to sculpt makeup effects with Rick Baker, and he actually sculpted stretchy-face Ash in Army of Darkness, which makes him aces in my book.

- I also post on the Real LAW Blog along with some of my writer friends, and we take turns picking characters to draw. The last pick was the Ghostbusters, so I drew them fighting Geist, from Justin Aclin's Hero House. I'm probably going to back off for a while, and give some of the other guys a chance to post their drawings, but you can see my older stuff here.

Well, that's it for this short week, but here are a couple of Thanksgiving cartoons I drew last year for a contest that I've never published anywhere. Zachsclusive!

Pop Sculpture is On Its Way!

2010-03-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

So my book is almost done. It's written and designed, and it's getting redesigned as we speak, but Tim Bruckner, Rubén Procopio and I have decided to start the buzz early and build to its October release! To that end, we've created a Facebook page, a Twitter account and a blog. I highly recommend following one or all, because we're gonna have sneak peeks (not sneak peaks, which are surprise mountains) of the book, and nuggets of wisdom from our various contributors for the next six months, and probably beyond that.

I also highly recommend you check out the LAW Blog, which is where I and a bunch of my friends and former co-workers have been posting our artistic interpretations of comic book and cartoon characters. If you think a blog where a bunch of writers post their drawings sounds lame, you are dead wrong.

Zach Oat to Appear on 'Idolz'

2010-01-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

Very often, someone will ask me to loan my artistic talent to a project. ...No, not really. It rarely happens. It's never happened, in fact. And sometimes the seething jealousy as I was overlooked in favor of more important and better-trained people threatened to consume my soul. So when the guys at Idolz Toyz asked me to customize one of their posable, stackable, tiki-inspired Idolz for them, I was instantly filled with a sense of vindication, and swore to do my very best.

Sadly, I didn't take into account the holidays, the surge of Oscar-quality movies hitting theaters and the fact that I was the father of a one-year-old. So I got delayed a bit, but the New Year gave me the time off necessary to finally complete my design! In addition to a couple carded versions of the first release, Gruntor (in camo, above), I was sent a totally blank version to paint however I wanted. After briefly considering making a Zach Oat Idolz, which my wife Melissa roundly discouraged, I settled on my favorite comic character, Hellboy, who is similarly craggy-featured.

I wanted to use the removable arms, so I passed on the sideburns in favor of the stylish BPRD trenchcoat. I tried to find a good-sized version of the Samaritan pistol, but ended up just using the included hammer, which I can only assume is magical, and kills Nazis. I'm pretty happy with it, and I think it stands up to some of the other Idolz customs out there, including Iron Man and Spider-Man. You can see those great customs on the Idolz Facebook page, and you can buy your own camouflage version at IdolzToyz.com! (No blank ones for sale yet, but maybe someday!)

Zach's Toy Review: Indie Spotlight Maxx and Shadowhawk

2009-04-23T09:58:00.001-07:00

Whoa, since when does Zach do toy reviews? Since he got the action figure he's been waiting for for years, that's when. I'm talking about the Indie Spotlight figures -- specifically The Maxx -- by Shocker Toys. And when I said I've been waiting for this figure for years, I don't just mean "any Maxx action figure, as long as it's better than the McFarlane version." No, I mean this specific figure, which has been in the works for a while. A highly poseable, super-articulated Maxx with interchangeable heads for city and jungle living, so I can re-create my favorite memories from the Image comic book and the MTV cartoon. Shocker totally nailed the sculpt, and the articulation allows for a bunch of great poses, even ones outside the traditional "I'm squatting and giving you the middle fingers" school of thought, although that was certainly comic artist Sam Keith's old stand-by.
The scale seems pretty good to me. He may be a little large for some fans -- even crouching, he's the same size as Big Daddy from Body Bags, and I imagine he similarly dwarfs Colossus (a lot of my Marvel Legends and Legendary Comic Book Heroes are in storage, sadly). So if you always thought of him as a homeless guy in a suit, you might be put off by his sheer size, but if you saw him as a magnificent guardian of the world of dreams, you probably won't care. (I certainly don't.) As I mentioned before, he comes with his alternate, lion's-maned head, the one from the dream jungle, and it looks like the paint has changed from the promo pics, but it's for the better, in my opinion. The bright orange wasn't working for me, and this feels more natural, although I haven't exactly been scouring the web for comparison art. Other accessories include a black Isz, a white Isz and a pink, floating girl Isz that I don't remember and, frankly, am perfectly happy to have missed. She's creepy.
The articulation, as I said, is great. His massive feet have a couple of layers to them, so they level out nicely, and the knees are double-jointed. To deal with what would probably have been annoying top-heaviness issues, the head, arms and torso have been rotocast, so they're hollow and therefore incredibly light. The transition is seamless, and the top actually features some of the best articulation of the figure. The ball-jointed neck allows the head almost an entire hemisphere of movement, and the torso can twist nicely. The head is, of course, removable, but so are the rest of the parts on the top half -- some easier than others. Some may lament the impermanence of some of the joints, but it's a small price to pay for a well-balanced figure. I've paid a lot more for vinyl toys that do the same thing, and I love the feel of it.
Shadowhawk -- actually, Shadowhawk II, since I got the variant version, which wears the outfit of Shadowhawk's successor -- isn't as deluxe as The Maxx, but he's certainly well-articulated. The new hip joints Shocker is using are seamless and smooth, and poseability is overall very good. Ball-and-socket joints are used in place of hinges wherever possible, and while it doesn't give you the widest range of movement, you can certainly capture all of Shadowhawk's "look at me, I'm edgy" touchstones. His torso is surprisingly flexible -- think some of the more poseable Spider-Man toys over the years. A joint may pop out once in a while, but I'd rather have to pop a joint back in than have it snap off clean, like on some other lines I can mention. Ditto the clean paint job, which has no real problems that I can see. My photography is weak, but he comes with a clip-on wrist-launcher accessory, with a grappling hook captured mid-launch, and a single white Isz to go with the Maxx's three.
All in all, the Maxx is definitely worth the price of purchase over at the Shocker Toys store. Shadowhawk, too, as long as you love the character and were as disappointed by McFarlane's offerings as I was. They both fit into my collection of roughly-6-or-7-inch superheroes pretty well, and I can't wait to get Scud and Kabuki, although it looks like I'll have to wait until the new shipment arrives in June to snag them. Hopefully, Series 2 won't keep us waiting as long as Series 1 did.

Harold & Mod Squad

2009-04-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

Wow! This is my 100th blog post on Buster of Chops, and I apologize that so many of them are merely links to articles I've written on another site. (There's actually a reason I post my Chops links on Facebook, and not direct TWoP links -- it has to do with how the page names appear. But I digress.) I figured I'd commemorate the 100th post with an interview I was particularly excited to do. Remember last week, when I grumbled about getting to interview an Unusuals cast member, and getting stuck with Amber Tamblyn? Well, only one week later, I managed to snag Harold Perrineau, star of Lost, The Matrix Reloaded and Oz, the latter of which I never watched. Anyway, he was very nice to me, and seems like a swell guy, and his show is very funny and you should watch it. Read about the pilot he did that you'll never see over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Walt! In the Name of the Law! (The Harold Perrineau Interview)

Danger! Danger! High Voltage!

2009-04-13T10:35:00.001-07:00

So it looks like I 'm not going to get to see Crank: High Voltage until next weekend, but I hope it kicks Zac Efron's 17 Again ass at the box office without me. To help it along, I updated our gallery of Stathamisms -- which are like Chuck Norris Facts, except cooler -- with images from the new movie, which also stars Corey Haim, Bai Ling and David Carradine, for some reason. Check it out at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Crank: High Voltage: Jason Statham Facts

Are You There, Krod? It's Me, Mandoon.

2009-04-13T10:19:00.001-07:00

I'm not a fan of cheesy fantasy series like Xena and Hercules, mostly because they ask me to take their storylines seriously. (Well, mostly seriously.) Comedy Central's Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire asks me to do no such thing, and I find that refreshing. Also, I like saying the title. It's like if Mel Brooks turned Robin Hood: Men In Tights into a halfway decent TV show, and if that doesn't completely sell you on the idea, check out my full review over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

With a Name Like "Krod Mandoon," It Has to be Good

I Came, I Observed, I Laughed My Ass Off

2009-04-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

Do not let the recent Paul Blart: Mall Cop turn you off to the vast genre of mall cop movies. Seth Rogen's latest -- which was written and directed by Foot Fist Way and Eastbound & Down helmer Jody Hill -- is hysterical, if slightly disturbing, incredibly violent and pretty raunchy. But it's got one of the funniest casts I've ever seen, plus Ray Liotta, who is funny in his own way. Read my review at MoviesWithoutPity.com, either before or after you see the movie, depending on your preference.

Observe & Report: Paul Blart Can Kiss Seth Rogen's Sizable Ass

It's Like an Outdoor 'Office'

2009-04-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

So last night was the premiere of the new Office-esque series Parks & Recreation, starring Amy Poehler, Aziz Ansari and Rashida Jones, and it was pretty great. I watched the whole thing, and recapped it for TelevisionWithoutPity.com, so if you're dying to read a five-page document instead of (or in addition to) watching a half-hour sitcom, feel free. Only the document contains my inimitable commentary.

Spring Pilot Season: Parks & Recreation

'The Spirit' Has Broken My Spirit

2009-04-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

I used to love Will Eisner's The Spirit. I had all of these Warren magazine-sized comics from back in the '70s, plus some of the Kitchen Sink reprints, and even the new DC stuff by Darwyn Cooke and J. Bone wasn't so bad. Frank Miller's The Spirit, however, is a train wreck. Just watching the trailers depressed me so much that I never saw it in theaters, only recently watching the DVD. And it's awful. My brother got me a Spirit T-shirt for Christmas, and I will wear it like a brand, like a scarlet letter that will remind me to never let anything that horrible happen ever again. I've written about my five big problems with the movie, and what could have been done to make it better -- mediocre, even -- over at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

The Spirit: What Could Have Been Done to Save It

Defy Death, Tivo Life

2009-04-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

I love Life, both the abstract sum of my existence and the TV show of the same name. Sadly, one may end tonight -- although I'd rather both went on for a very, very long time. While I plan on driving safely, tonight's season finale of Life on NBC may be the series finale, if NBC ever makes up their minds about whether they want to cancel it or not. I interviewed the awesome Damian Lewis ("Charlie Crews") and creator Rand Ravich about the finale, Gabrielle Union vs. Sarah Shahi and elevensies. ...Actually, I only asked one of the questions -- try and guess which one over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com.

Life Sentence: Damian Lewis Talks About Tonight's (Series?) Finale

Faster, Vin Diesel! Kill! Kill!

2009-04-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen Fast & Furious yet, but it seems everybody else did, since it made mad bank this weekend. Thanks to this, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker just experienced career do-overs, and Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster are along for the ride. I run down three-step plans to keep all four of them on top of the game over at MoviesWithoutPity.com -- here's hoping they take my advice.

Fast & Furious: We Jump-Start Four Careers

Ooh, Right in the Dragonballs!

2009-04-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not a hardcore Dragon Ball fan or anything (although I like it enough to know that I prefer the wacky adventures of the young Goku to the endless combat of Dragon Ball Z), but I know that this movie looks nothing like the Dragon Ball manga I found endlessly entertaining, or the DBZ anime my friend Rob made me watch. Using my limited knowledge and the overheard rantings of my friends, I broke down exactly why anime fans are unhappy with this film over at MoviesWithoutPity.com. Give it a read.

Dragonball Evolution: Why Anime Fans Hate It

I've Got to Keep on Tamblyn

2009-04-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

I was excited to watch the new cop dramedy The Unusuals for cast members Harold Perrineau (Lost) and Adam Goldberg (The Hebrew Hammer), but did they offer me interviews with either of them? No. I got Amber Tamblyn. I have to admit that Tamblyn was an unknown quantity for me, since I never watched Joan of Arcadia, but I think she did a good job in the pilot episode, and she was a friendly interview subject. Read my Q & A with her over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com.

Joan of Narcadia: The Amber Tamblyn Interview

Adventureland: Not Just Another Teen Movie

2009-04-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

Saw Adventureland on Tuesday. Loved it. It's not at all what I was expecting, but in a good way -- the movie has a real indie vibe, and is more of a dramedy than a true comedy. Mismarketed? Maybe, but that "From the director of Superbad" tag was just so tempting, I'm sure. Hopefully, people won't be disappointed, but rather pleasantly surprised like me. Check out my review at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

Adventureland: This Isn't the Sex Comedy You're Looking For

Fast, Furious and Unnecessary

2009-04-01T14:28:00.000-07:00

Is any sequel really "necessary"? Yes. Some are. In fact, I would say a lot are. But just as many are not. Take the new Vin Diesel movie Fast & Furious, the third (!) sequel to The Fast and the Furious. I haven't seen it yet, but I can promise you that it is as unnecessary as the last two sequels. I ran down ten of the most unnecessary sequels ever made at MoviesWithoutPity.com, and you may be surprised to see what's up there.

Fast & Furious: Another Unnecessary Sequel

Vampires in Adventureland

2009-03-31T12:13:00.000-07:00

Full disclosure: I never saw Twilight, nor have I read the books, but when I saw that the sequel, Adventureland, was coming out this weekend, I was instantly intrigued. Vampires and werewolves working at an amusement park? How rad is that gonna be?! I wrote a short post about it on MoviesWithoutPity.com, and I'm seeing a screening tonight, so I hope I don't need to have seen Twilight to know what's going on. Fingers crossed!

Twilight 2: Why the Hell Does it Take Place in an Amusement Park?

Sean Penn is a Stooge

2009-03-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about this new Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges movie? They've apparently got Sean Penn to play Larry, Jim Carrey is in talks to play Curly, and Benicio del frickin' Toro is in the running to play Moe. While all of that casting is spot-on (Carrey will be gaining 40 lbs. for the role), it's also pretty unbelievable. I mean, those are A-list, award-winning actors, my friends! (Sure, Carrey has never won an Oscar, but he should have.) Inspired by this, I cast Oscar-winning actors in movies about the Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy and other classic comedy teams -- see who Daniel Day-Lewis would play at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

The New Three Stooges are... Kind of Impressive, Actually

Bustin' Makes Them Feel Good

2009-03-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

When you think abut it, Supernatural -- although a very scary, very funny, reasonably smart show -- is very much part of a TV category, the "investigating the strange and unusual" category. I consider myself a fan of a bunch of these shows, and I've occasionally watched others, and when we were looking for a gallery to do about Supernatural, I thought, why not compare Sam and Dean to all of those other investigators? After weeding out cartoon characters like the Real Ghostbusters, I was left with nine shows, and only three of them had a better track record than the Winchester boys. See the gallery at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Supernatural: The Boys vs. the Paranormal Elite

Monsters is to Aliens as Wrestlers is to...

2009-03-25T09:35:00.001-07:00

I really want to see this Monsters vs. Aliens movie this weekend, because it just seems like such a fun, unique take on five or six really old ideas. Hoping to emulate the way Hollywood seems to come up with movies, I took a bunch of plural words and put "Vs." in between them, to come up with five new movie ideas that I think are sure-fire hits. Can you guess which one I'm actually planning on writing a script for? Read them all at MoviesWithoutPity.com and tell me your guess!

Monsters vs. Aliens: Other Genre Mash-Ups We'd Like to See

Bond, Glorious Bond

2009-03-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

I love James Bond movies, but I have to admit -- they're a little ridiculous. Even the last two, with their heavy dose of gritty, Bourne Identity realism, had their share of preposterous moments. So I went out and picked up the new DVD of Quantum of Solace and wrote up a guide to the most unbelievable things that happened in the film, complete with the time stamp for when each item happens. Check it out at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Quantum of Solace: Bond's Most Preposterous Moments

"America's Sweetheart," My Ass

2009-03-20T10:40:00.001-07:00

I have nothing against Julia Roberts, but how does the woman earn the title "America's Sweetheart" when she's constantly playing criminals? In Duplicity, out now, she plays a corporate spy, trying to steal secrets, but this is only the latest in a long line of felonious Roberts characters. I run down the lot over at MoviesWithoutPity.com. Ignore the commenters who seem to think I have nothing better to do with my time than read their remarks and weep gently to myself. Seriously, it's eating into my schedule.

Julia Roberts: America's Sweetheart, or America's Most Wanted?

Watch This Show, People!

2009-03-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hey, guys, there's a new show on TV every Wednesday night called Better Off Ted, and I need you all to watch it, like, now, and tell your friends and spread the word, because if it doesn't get super-popular, I'm worried it may just go away. It's by the same guy who created Andy Richter Controls the Universe, and it's almost as funny in the same kind of way, and I hope it's given the chance to get even better. (ARCTU was canceled after 19 episodes.) You can read my full review at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Better Off Ted: Don't You Die On Me!

Bring the Payne

2009-03-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

If there was an Oscar given out in the category of Video Game Movies Starring Mark Wahlberg, Max Payne would win hands-down. For a movie that takes place almost entirely at night, is based on a Matrix rip-off and stars Mila Kunis as a Russian assassin, I enjoyed the hell out of it, and I'll tell you why it succeeds in the face of adversity over at MoviesWithoutPity.com. (Warning: Film may contain trace amounts of Chris O'Donnell.)

Max Payne is Better Than It Has Any Right to Be

Why Aren't I Writing Supernatural?

2009-03-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

I've recently gotten really into Supernatural, the show about two sexy brothers who hunt demons, but I have to say, something about their current mission confuses me. They're supposed to be stopping the 66 Seals from getting broken, and Lucifer from walking the Earth, and so far they've seen two and been unable to stop either of them getting broken. Meanwhile, 34 more seals have apparently been broken! What's up with that? To fill in the gaps, I came up with six more Seals the Winchester brothers failed to protect, and I wrote about them at TelevisionWithoutPity.com! Check them out, and don't you dare call it fan-fiction.

Supernatural: The Six Seals We Didn't See

The Smallville Horror

2009-03-11T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'll admit that Smallville looked like it was improving for a while there, but A.) that wasn't really saying much, and B.) they quickly backslid, bringing back Lana, giving her superpowers (again) and then basically turning her into kryptonite. It looks like things might improve with Zatanna appearing in an upcoming episode, but if they're really gonna do a ninth season (GAH!), they need to straighten up and fly right. Check out my analysis of what they need to be doing over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Bright Tights, Big City: How to Fix Smallville

Murder, He Wrote

2009-03-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the series premiere of Castle, and I would be excited about it, except I've already seen it (minus key soundtrack bits) and I need to do an exhaustive recap of it for tomorrow. But I'm definitely looking forward to the second episode! Because the show is awesome, if you dig Moonlighting-style crime shows like The Mentalist and Bones. But the show Nathan Fillion likes to name-check is Murder, She Wrote, since he plays a crime-solving novelist. I compared and contrasted the two shows over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com -- check it out, then read my recap of episode 1 and my interview with Nathan Fillion himself!

Murder, He Wrote: The Case of Castle v. Angela Lansbury

Castle Episode 1 Recap

King of the Castle: The Nathan Fillion Interview

Watchmen Review #849

2009-03-05T12:23:00.000-08:00

I know, I know -- everyone and their mothers has reviewed Watchmen. But so many of those people are bitter, jaded monsters! Wouldn't you want to read a review by Zach Oat, fair and balanced journalist? ...I'm kidding, I don't have a balanced bone in my body. If you want to read my review anyway, click below to get the deets at TelevisionWithoutPity.com. Or just read my buddy Sean Collins's, which is probably much better. See? Fair and balanced.

Watch and Release: Zach's Non-Spoilery Watchmen Review

Sean's Attention Deficit Disorderly Review

The Hammer is Nathan Fillion

2009-03-04T08:27:00.000-08:00

Man, I love Nathan Fillion, in a totally heterosexual way. From Firefly to Slither to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog , the man is hysterical in everything he does, which is why I'm incredibly excited about his new show, Castle, where he plays a smart-ass crime novelist who shadows a tough-but-sexy cop he's using as inspiration for a new series of books. It's like an inverted Bones, which sounds like a winning formula to me, and I got to talk to Fillion about it... for nine minutes. Check out the short interview at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

King of the Castle: The Nathan Fillion Interview

Who Photographs the Watchmen?

2009-03-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

Photographer. Physical Trainer. Coffee entrepreneur. Clay Enos is all of these things, and he put all of his skills to use as the set photographer for Watchmen, shooting portraits of the cast and crew, training Jackie Earle Haley and Malin Akerman and creating a limited run of Nite Owl-themed organic coffee. I talked to the photog about his many skills, and his new book, Watchmen Portraits. Check out the interview at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Who Photographs the Watchmen? This Guy!

Their Name is Jonas

2009-02-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I feel bad for mega-celebrities who have legions of detractors who criticize everything they do online. But then I remember that they're rich, they have the world at their fingerips,and they probably don't spend a lot of time on the Internet. (Although Miley Cyrus keeps posting inappropriate YouTube videos, so what do I know?) Anyway, that made me feel all right about writing a post about how terrible the Jonas Brothers are, and what their 3D movie (which opens this weekend) would have to be about in order to get me into the theater. Read it at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

The Jonas Brothers in 3D: Dear God, Why?

Meanwhile, On the Island...

2009-02-25T09:21:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about Lost. So, how long, exactly, have Jin, Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and Faraday been on the island when the Oceanic Six come back? The Six have been on the mainland for years, right? But the others have been hopping around in time since they left, so who knows how long they've actually been chilling out there? We may find out tonight, but I came up with some theories about what they've been doing since time stood still and why Jin is huntin' wabbit over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com.

Lost: What the Hell has Sawyer Been Doing This Whole Time?

Talkin' It Up on the Jimmy Fallon Talk Show

2009-02-23T09:14:00.000-08:00

It won't be anywhere near as good as the Barry Gibb Talk Show, but I'm actually really looking forward to the first episode of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Say what you will, but Fallon was a funny guy on Saturday Night Live, and his Barry Gibb was the best thing ever. I got to talk to him on a conference call the other day, and he gave us some cool info about his new show. He didn't say whether he would ever be more than five steps from a gun, but he did say that they probably won't be using the character Jean-Paul Georges-Ringeau, France's most beloved one-man Beatles cover band. Sad now. Check out the interview at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

The New Face of Late Night: The Jimmy Fallon Q&A

My Evening With Oscars

2009-02-23T06:20:00.000-08:00

ALthough I didn't attend this year's Oscars -- and neither did Robert Altman, above, who's dead -- I did get to sit on my couch with my 2.5-month-old daughter Hazel and write about them. Check out my liveblog of the event (with co-blogger Mindy Monez) at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

2009 Academy Awards Liveblog

Rourke Is It!

2009-02-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

What would happen if Mickey Rourke became an Oscar-winning actor? Would his life change? Would he get better roles? Would he buy more chihuahuas? I decided to run down ten possible ways Rourke's life will improve if he wins an Academy Award on Sunday. Check it out at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

What if Mickey Rourke Wins the Oscar?

Welcome to the Buffy -- er, Dollhouse

2009-02-20T10:02:00.000-08:00

So I've seen three episodes of Dollhouse so far (not the first three, the first two and the fourth -- thanks a heap, Fox) and I'm loving it. It's going to take a while for me to start to develop strong personal feelings for the characters, as I do with every Joss Whedon show, but this show is helping by seemingly basing all of its characters on previous Whedon characters from Buffy, Angel and even Firefly. Check out my guide to the Dollhouse characters (and their Whedonesque predecessors) at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Dollhouse: Do These Characters Seem Familiar To You?

A Newbie's Guide to Watchmen

2009-02-19T10:41:00.001-08:00

I've been a fan of Watchmen since my brother and I coincidentally gave each other copies of the graphic novel for Christmas 15 years ago. And while DC sells more copies every year, I know that some of you out there have no idea what this movie is about, beyond the fact that there are costumed superheroes, and they're all sad. Over at TelevisionWithoutPity.com, I've created a guide to the world and characters of Watchmen, based on what we know of the movie and what already exists on the page. Check it out, and cross your fingers the movie will be as good as the book...

Dollhouse: The Complete Guide for Non-Geeks

Inglourious Basterds: One [sic] Trailer

2009-02-12T11:27:00.000-08:00

I was really excited about Inglourious Basterds for a while there, but now that I've seen the trailer, I'm left kinda "eh." The cast seems to lack the pizzazz of Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction. But seeing Eli Roth up there on the screen gave me an idea: What if Tarantino had cast the entire movie using famous directors? See my dream cast at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Inglourious Directors: The War Movie Tarantino Should Have Made

Astro Boy: Disaster in the Making?

2009-02-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

So that new Astro Boy movie looks really good! It looks good, anyway. It sounds dodgy, and on paper it looks like the biggest mistake in the history of anything. I may be a little harsh, but man -- why are they doing this? I mean, I want it to succeed... but I don't see how it possibly can. Read my in-depth analysis of the footage shown at New York Comic-Con over at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Astro Boy: Why it is Doomed to Fail

Make It So, Number One!

2009-02-10T10:31:00.000-08:00

Readers of ToyFare magazine may be familiar with an occasional comic strip titled "Naked Jonathan Frakes Theatre." Born from the staff's collective love of Frakes, who played Commander Will Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation, it was the only way I could think of him -- as a naked, 6-inch action figure -- for years, until the opportunity arose for me to interview him. Talking to him about his gig directing tonight's episode of Leverage and the upcoming series Persons Unknown, I remembered what a big fan I was, and he was a heck of a nice guy. Check out my interview at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Jonathan Frakes Now Has Directing Leverage

Ten Things I Learned From the New Friday the 13th

2009-02-10T10:18:00.000-08:00

"Attention all supernatural killers! This is Leo! You must leave the Bronx!" Despite having horror-loving friends (and wife!), I am not a horror movie buff by any stretch of the imagination. However, I recently became a big fan of Supernatural and The Mentalist, so when I saw that the stars of both shows were going to be in the new Friday the 13th, I knew I had to see it, in all of its gory detail. See what I learned from the new movie at MovieWithoutPity.com.

Revelations Gleaned From the New Friday the 13th

Being a Geek? It Ain't So Bad.

2009-02-06T10:56:00.000-08:00

I have fallen in love with The IT Crowd, the British sitcom about two lowly tech support drones in the bowels of a big corporation and their high-strung boss. In fact, after watching the third season premiere, I wrote an article about my favorite computer geeks! It was short, but sweet, and the commenters were actually fairly kind when suggesting the ones they felt got the short shrift. (Apparently, I was at a handicap by not watching 24 or NCIS.) Read all about it at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Computer Geeks: A Not-So-Proud Tradition

Fanboys: Not Just for Fanboys Anymore

2009-02-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

I got to see Fanboys last week, and it was both better than and not as good as I thought it was going to be. But it's got Kristen Bell and Seth Rogen in it, and is totally worth seeing, whether you're a Star Wars fan, a Veronica Mars fan or a Knocked Up fan. Star Trek fans may want to see it, too, but only so they know what to complain about on the Internet. You can read my review at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Fanboys: A Fanboy's Wet Dream

I'm Just Lookin' for Some Push

2009-02-06T07:19:00.000-08:00

I don't watch Heroes, because... I don't think it looks very good. (Public opinion backs me up on this.) But I will totally see Push. In fact, Push looks a lot like Heroes, but smarter and more exciting. And much, much shorter. Check out why I think Push is the best Heroes episode ever at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Push: Best Heroes Episode Ever?

Yeah, Fanbooooooyyyys!

2009-02-04T09:42:00.000-08:00

This cinematic love letter to Star Wars (Episode I, no less) is finally coming out, and it's not only pretty damn funny, it's jam-packed with celebrity fanboys and fangirls making cameos. Original Star Wars cast members, famous directors, and some of the greatest comedy talent of the past few years are all here, and I've got a breakdown of all of their appearances, including one guy who isn't even in the credits. Check it out at MoviesWithoutPity.com below.

The Celebrity Fanboys of Fanboys

Are You Ready for Some Trailers?

2009-02-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

So my wife and I went to my brother-in-law's house to watch the Super Bowl, but with a twist. I left the room while the game was on, and came back to watch the commercials. Not just because I'm not a football fan, but because I wanted to write about all of the new movie trailers that were debuting during the game. Check out my ranking of the five best at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Top Five Super Bowl Movie Trailers

Bad Karma, Dude

2009-02-04T09:21:00.000-08:00

Just like American Idol, My Name is Earl was on my "do not watch" list for years before I was ~~forced~~ asked to watch it for work. And you know what? I loved it. I guess I was expecting Larry the Cable Guy, and it was a lot smarter than I thought it would be. In fact, it was hysterical, but even the best shows have their missteps. Over at TelevisonWithoutPity.com, I run down the episodes that give the show bad karma, and will require plenty of good deeds (read: high-quality writing) to undo.

My Name Is Earl: The "Bad Karma" Episodes

UPDATE: Earl creator Greg Garcia has read my article, and commented. I apparently hurt his feelings.

Love, Labor and Lost

2009-01-29T14:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally got caught up on this season of Lost. An obligation to watch Lie to Me last week led to my missing the first two episodes, but I saw them in time to catch this week's, and all three episodes were totally awesome. In fact, they were so awesome that I ran down the five best moments of the newest episode at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Love, Labor and Lost: My Five Fave Moments of Episode 3

The Rocker vs. The Pussycats

2009-01-29T14:24:00.000-08:00

Sue me, but I actually enjoyed the Rainn Wilson comedy The Rocker. It was a little mediocre in spots, like when Wilson gets naked (because that's what he does) or gets hit in the nuts, but otherwise it's an entertaining movie. Will Arnett and Fred Armisen as Cleveland rockers gone British are fantastic. So why did the whole thing feel familiar? Because it was the same kind of cheesy, "we-can-do-it" rock 'n' roll flick as one of my favorite guilty-pleasure movies: Josie and the Pussycats. I break it down for the two people who care at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

The Rocker Ain't Nothin' But a Cover Song

Inappropriate Office Behavior

2009-01-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

When The Office first came on the air in America, I refused to watch it. I had seen a little bit of the original British series, and I was put off by the show's brand of embarrassment humor. I already felt uncomfortable most of the time, so why watch a show that made me more uncomfortable? I eventually grew to love the U.S. series, despite the frequent embarrassing situations, and today I can even rattle off the most embarrassing moments for each of the Dunder-Mifflin staffers. So I did! Check it out at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

The Office's Most Embarrassingly Roastable Moments

The Whitest Kids I Know

2009-01-27T20:35:00.000-08:00

If you miss sketch comedy shows like The Vacant Lot and Exit 57, then you must not get the IFC Channel, because that's where the Whitest Kids U'Know recently kicked off their third eponymous season of self-titled hilarity. I got to talk to three of the five Whitest Kids, and the interview is posted at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

A Conversation With the Whitest Kids U'Know

Wolverine Re-Shoots Revealed!

2009-01-26T13:01:00.000-08:00

Here at Buster of Chops, we -- okay, I was really looking forward to the new Wolverine movie. Yes, there are big, bushy muttonchops in it, but it also looked like the cast was going to be top-notch. Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool? Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth? That guy from Friday Night Lights as Gambit? (Hey, I hear he has fans...) But these re-shoots they're doing on the film have me worried. They may be making the movie more awesome (with more Deadpool) or they may be trying to fix an utterly ridiculous film. See what I think the re-shoots are about at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Ten Re-Shoot Theories

My Dinner With Tim Roth

2009-01-21T12:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, I didn't actually have dinner with him, but I did get to talk to Mr Orange/Pumpkin/Emil Blonsky on the phone, asking him questions about his new show Lie to Me, in which he plays a scientist who can tell whether you're lying or not by looking at you. (Fun fact: Tim Roth really does know when you're lying. No matter where you are, he will find you, and he will kill you.) Read all about it at TelevisionWithoutPity.com, then check out my blow-by-blow commentary on the pilot!

Tim Roth: The Lie to Me Interview

The Lie to Me Premiere, Recapped

I Thought They Were Superfriends!

2009-01-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

Hey, remember that guide to the superheroes and supervillains of Smallville I created a while back? Well, it's been updated! Now it's got show and comic-book info about Doomsday, the Legion, the Persuader and Maxima, all of whom have appeared in recent episodes. I have to admit, the show has won me back, especially now that they have Geoff Johns writing episodes, and, you know, actual comic book characters. Check it out at TelevisionWithoutpity.com!

Smallville: Real American Heroes (And Villains)

The Revenge of Michael Bay

2009-01-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

Man, I used to love the Transformers. And I guess I still do. But I really, really, really disliked the movie. I seem to be alone, at least among Transformers fans, who are just so happy to have something, anything, but I just can't fully embrace such an awful, awful film. And yet I am strangely drawn to any and all news about the second film, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I created a list of reasons to see or not see the new movie over at MoviesWithoutPity.com -- check it out!

Transformers 2: To Revenge or Not to Revenge

I'm Afraid of American (Idol)

2009-01-14T14:02:00.000-08:00

For seven seasons, I have managed to avoid watching a single episode of American Idol. Now, because of my job, I have to. So last night I watched the season premiere. And you know what? It wasn't bad. I actually really liked it. There were some amazing singers singing some good songs, and the bad singers weren't so much embarrassing as hysterical. I was able to laugh at them, and didn't feel dirty afterwards. It's a win-win! Read an A.I. virgin's reaction to the premiere at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

The Last American (Idol) Virgin

Spider-Man 4 Villains: 4 We May See, 4 We Want

2009-01-14T13:52:00.000-08:00

The next Spider-Man sequel is still in its planning stages, but the rumors are already flying fast and furious about who Spidey will face off with in the fourth film. I ran down who the top four rumored foes are and what they would mean for Spidey, and then I went ahead and picked my own top four bad guys I'd like to see on the big screen. (And no, Kraven isn't one of them.) Read all about them at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Four Villains Spidey May Have to Face

Four Villains We'd Like to See

The Best of Globes, the Worst of Globes

2009-01-14T13:41:00.000-08:00

So I watched the Golden Globes on Sunday night, and was pretty pleased with the results. 30 Rock won a ton of awards, which is always good. Heath Ledger got something. And I'm much more likely to see Slumdog Millionaire eventually than I am to see The Reader or Revolutionary Road. But some of the greatest -- and worst -- moments came from the presenters themselves. See them all in my gallery at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Golden Globes: Best and Worst Moments

DVD Reviews: Burn After Reading, The Day the Earth Stood Still and Prince Caspian

2009-01-05T10:48:00.000-08:00

One of the great things about my job is doing DVD reviews. I get to watch DVDS before anybody else, and then tell everybody what I think of them! At least, that's how it's supposed to work. On December 2, I had a baby girl, and the whole plan went down the crapper. So here are my latest DVD reviews! Some of the DVDs have been out for a little while, but they're all worth buying for various reasons. Read my reviews at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (original)

Burn After Reading

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The Diary of Tom Cruise

2008-12-23T21:05:00.000-08:00

Tom Cruise's innermost thoughts are known to no man, thanks to his religious intolerance of psychology, but what if someone were to get their hands on his secret set diary from Valkyrie? Why, Cruise's opinions on Nazis, the media and eyepatches would be laid bare! Check out the most entertaining diary since Anne Frank's at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

Valkyrie: Tom Cruise's Secret Set Diary

2009: A Space Odyssey

2008-12-22T08:50:00.000-08:00

Man, there are a ton of sci-fi movies coming out next year, not to mention fantasy and horror. I just wrote up January through April, and it's already a pretty sizable list, including such biggies as Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, the next Underworld and, of course, Watchmen. And I haven't even hit summer yet! Check out my list of this spring's genre movies at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Winter 2009 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Preview

The Golden Globes Have Brass Balls

2008-12-20T20:37:00.000-08:00

The Golden Globe nominees are out, and frankly, I'm a little disappointed. While the Globes are smart enough to have separate categories for comedic and dramatic performances in movies, they only gave one nomination to Dark Knight and no nominations to Iron Man, and those were two of the greatest movies I've ever seen. Why must superhero movies be treated like second-class citizens? The Globes' other oversights are equally unforgiveable, and you can read my lengthy list at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

Golden Globes: Overlooked Movies

I Would Like to Feed My Fingertips to the Wolverine Trailer

2008-12-15T14:00:00.001-08:00

The new X-Men Origins: Wolverine trailer is awesome! It's got everything I could possibly want! New mutants like the Blob and Deadpool! Logan all sideburned and angsty! An actual, trained actor playing Sabretooth! (Suck it, Tyler Mane!) That said, it's not perfect, but it's close! Go to MoviesWithoutPity.com and check out my five fave things about the trailer, and my five least fave.

The 5 Best (and Worst) Things About the X-Men Origins: Wolverine Trailer

The Spirit: Some People Fear It

2008-12-15T07:21:00.000-08:00

I'm a little nervous about the bad reviews coming out for The Spirit. Of course, the trailers have made it look bad for a while, but I was willing to wait to see them all edited together before I made a judgment. I'm still going to see it, but I'm worried no one else will, because nobody knows who the Spirit is. (And now, thanks to this movie, they won't know who he really was, because this movie seems to take a lot of liberties.) I wrote a guide to the characters for Movies Without Pity -- check it out.

Who the Hell is The Spirit?

Keanu Reeves: Loving the Alien

2008-12-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but I really like Keanu Reeves. The Matrix, Speed, Thumbsucker, Point Break, Johnny Mnemonic, Bil & Ted, Freaked... Hell, I saw A Walk in the Clouds in the theater. But I can no longer like him, because he is not of this world. I used to think he was just a bit of a dunderhead, but now I know he's really an alien. The Day the Earth Stood Still has shown me the light, and now his super-secret set diary has revealed his plot to conquer the world and/or kill Kathy Bates. Check out his diary at MoviesWithoutPity.com.

The Day the Earth Stood Still: Keanu's Secret Set Diary

My Movie Merch Holiday Gift Guide

2008-11-25T13:15:00.000-08:00

Wondering what to get the movie buff in your life for the holidays? And by "movie buff in your life," I of course mean me? Then check out the Holiday Buyer's Guide I wrote for MoviesWithoutPity.com -- it's chock-full of awesome movie merchandise (mostly cool toys) that any movie fan would love to own. But mostly me. When you get to the end, check out the book guides I wrote, too!

Movie Merch Holiday Gift Guide

Punisher vs. Iron Man: Now THAT'S a War Zone!

2008-11-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

Is anyone really that interested in seeing Punisher: War Zone? After being unable to make it through the last Punisher movie, this looks like, if not more of the same, exactly, then definitely more of the similar. More bloodshed is good, and Jigsaw as the bad guy is good, but why not mix it up with some of the Marvel superheroes, since they're all that separate the Punisher from every other revenge shoot-'em-up movie ever made? Check out my gallery of Punisher movie crossovers I'd like to see at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Punisher: Which Marvel Superheroes Need Punishing?

Quantum of Solace: A Bullet-Riddled Review

2008-11-13T13:46:00.001-08:00

I saw the new James Bond movie last night, and I loved it. I went in with low expectations -- thanks to a disappointed friend who saw it two weeks ago (while he was England, no less!) -- and was pleasantly surprised. The movie was the proverbial action-packed thrill ride, and made Casino Royale (which it is a DIRECT sequel to) look like a boring old card game movie. The director called it his "James Bond art film" but only if your art is death. Check out my review at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Quantum of Solace provides Quantity of 'Splosions

Primeval DVD Review

2008-11-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

I really have no idea how many people watch Primeval on BBC America. I probably wouldn't even know what it was if I hadn't seen a banner on the side of a city bus, and subsequently gotten in touch with someone at BBC America to get me some episodes on DVD, because I don't get the channel at home. But I'm glad I did, because it's a lot of fun, and probably has the biggest budget of any British television show, except maybe Doctor Who. The effects are pretty great, the actors aren't bad at all, and the stories are only mildly ridiculous. I reviewed the Volume 1 DVD set, with Series 1 and 2 on it, for TelevisionWithoutPity.com.

I Sing the Extras Primeval

Law & Order SVU: Sullen, Vicious and Unemployable

2008-11-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

Y'know, I have a love-hate relationship with Law & Order: SVU. While Christopher Meloni, Mariska Hargitay, Richard Belzer and Ice-T are great actors, the sexual perversions and child endangerment going on always skeeve me out. Luckily, this season has taken a turn for the ridiculous, so I will probably not keep watching, but the show should have ended ages ago, because these guys violate the law left and right. You can read my breakdown of their misbehavior at TelevisionWithoutPity.com.

The Special Victims Squad's Firing Offenses

Is Kevin Smith Afraid of Sex?

2008-11-06T05:29:00.001-08:00

Looking back at all of the Kevin Smith films I've seen, I realize that each time I've come away from them feeling kinda uncomfortable. Not because of how much he talks about sex, but because sex seems to lead to terrible situations and relationship-ending trauma. Now, he says sex is funny, which is why he just made Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which is a whole movie about sex, but I think maybe there's more going on there than meets the eye. Read my theories at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Sex and the Smitty, or Kevin Can Wait

Back to the Futurama

2008-11-06T05:20:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge Futurama fan, so when I found out I could get someone to send me the new DVD movie, Bender's Game, by offering to review it for MoviesWithoutPity.com, I was super-psyched. I only got the disk in a little sleeve, and not the awesome box seen above, but the extras packed into that little disk are still amazing, and the movie is hilarious. Lovers of Dungeons & Dragons or Mazes and Monsters or Lord of the Rings must buy this movie. But you can check out my review of the extras at MWOP if you're still not sure!
Futurama: Bender's Game DVD Review

Mr. and Mrs. Smith Must Be Proud

2008-10-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well, Kevin Smith has finally crossed the line. By putting his characters' endless discussions of pornography right in the title of his new movie, he has caused himself no end of censorship and free publicity. Speaking of free publicity, I wrote an article explaining how Smith has embraced his new, "Porno"-less title by rewriting the entire film to remove any references to pornography. Check it out at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Zack and Miri: Porno Not Included

Fly the Unfriendly Skies

2008-10-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

That Passengers movie looks pretty interesting. Not because of the plot, which seems like a fairly straightforward "there's more here than meets the eye" conspiracy tale, but because of the cast. Besides Anne Hathaway's Oscar buzz-slash-romantic woes and Patrick Wilson's impending Watchmenization, the supporting cast is a veritable who's who of journeyman actors from both the big and small screens. Check out the earliest and most embarrassing roles on everyone's resume at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Passengers: The Cast's Rockiest Flights

Changeling: Creature from Beyond!

2008-10-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

So you've heard about this movie Changeling, right? No, not the George C. Scott movie from 1980 -- the one starring Angelina Jolie as a mother who loses her son. This one totally isn't a horror film in the traditional sense, but it is written by Babylon 5 creator and He-Man writer J. Michael Straczynski, so I rewrote the movie as if it was one of his science-fiction stories, about a shape-shifting alien on the loose. Check it out at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Who Changes the Changeling?

Raargh! Hulk DVD Smash Expectations!

2008-10-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

After seeing Iron Man, my already-low expectations for The Incredible Hulk dropped a little bit more. How could anything possibly be as good as Iron Man? Well, the commercials don't lie -- the new Hulk is every bit as good as Iron Man, and the DVD set ain't bad either. Read about the Captain America cameo, the deleted scenes, and the Tim Roth commentary at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

My Incredible Hulk DVD Review

Alan Moore of 20 Years Ago is Okay With Watchmen Movie

2008-10-16T12:50:00.000-07:00

So, you know how Alan Moore hates the fact that there's a Watchmen movie? Or any movie based on any comic he's ever done? Well, apparently, back when Watchmen had just come out, he was not only totally down with a movie version, he didn't seem to mind if the writer took a few liberties. Hmm... what could have possibly happened that would have changed his mind? Read all about it at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Alan Moore Endorsed Watchmen Movie... in 1987

Papa Was a Rollin' Stone

2008-10-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not a very political guy, nor am I an Oliver Stone fan. But some part of me wants to see his new movie, W., when it comes out this weekend. Another part of me feels bad that I poke fun at him a little with my new gallery, the supposed "conspiracy diary" of Stone as he worked on the film. I tried to paint a humorous picture of a man descending into paranoid madness. When that happens, can Noah Wyle survive?

W.: Oliver Stone's Conspiracy Notebook

What We Talk About When We Talk About the Watchmen Movie

2008-10-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

So I told you what happened in the 25 minutes of Watchmen footage I saw, but I didn't tell you how I felt about it. My boss at Movies Without Pity, Dan Manu, and I sat down and talked about our feelings, and then we talked about Watchmen. This is the Watchmen part.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Watchmen

Why My Wife is Awesome

2008-10-11T22:21:00.001-07:00

...Okay, she's awesome for a lot of reasons. She makes me laugh, she's incredibly crafty, and she's having my baby. But today she made me pretty happy with what she considers a pretty small thing, but what an obsessive toy collector and Hellboy fan would call a pretty big thing. She said I could have the top of the two bookshelves to display my Hellboy collection. It's not even a very big collection, but it's there on display in the living room, and it's the first time I've been able to display all of my HB pieces together (including my Hellboy and Lobster Johnson statues, sculpted by my good friend Ruben Procopio for the fine folks at Electric Tiki). It means a lot to me, since I've loved Hellboy since before his first issue came out, and once dressed up like him for a Wizard magazine costume contest. I even have two Hellboy pieces that nobody (or few, anyway) will ever own: A Playmobil Hellboy made by my good friend Robert "Tothiro" Martin, and a Hellboy head sculpted years ago by my brother, Ash Oat. A third piece, a Mego-style Hellboy also by Robert, is locked away with all of my Megos, along with an Abe Sapien head that is patiently waiting for me to buy and decapitate a Talosian Keeper for parts. Someday they'll join the ranks, and until then I plan to do lots of nice things for my very pregnant wife, because she's been so good to me. Also, so she doesn't change her mind.

Sex Talk With Quentin Tarantino

2008-10-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Sex Drive was written by Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction director Quentin Tarantino? It's true! Except they took his awesome script, full of violent shootouts, vehicular homicides and intercourse with tigers, and turned it into your standard teen sex romp. Is it any wonder he had his name taken off of it? Well, I was lucky enough to interview Mr. Tarantino and get all the details about his original script and how it was driven into the ground. [Okay, not really, but play along.] Read all about it at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Sex Drive: The Quentin Tarantino Commentary Track

I Watches the Watchmen Movie

2008-10-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know how this happened, or what I did to deserve it, but on Monday night, I got to go see 25 minutes of the upcoming Watchmen movie in New York. Director Zack Snyder and original comic artist Dave Gibbons were both in attendance, and the footage they dropped on us was unbelievable. I've spoken to people who were less-than-thrilled with it, but as long as you accept the differences of the mediums, I don't see how anyone could really be disappointed. Check out my detailed (seriously) description of all 25 minutes at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

We Watches Some of the Watchmen

Stereophonic Soul Manure

2008-10-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I really want to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It looks fun and silly, and Michael Cera is a funny guy, and Kat Dennings was good in 40 Year Old Virgin, and I'm totally not the target audience, which means I'm not allowed to go see it. Of course, if this movie had been made in the 1970s, I could watch it all day long and buy the 30th Anniversary Special Edition, and everything would be fine, but no, it had to be made now. Well, I've got news for you -- the movie could very well have been made in the 1970s, because that's when it was written! I've recently discovered that the screenplay was lost for three decades, and it was only updated this year to be a precious look at today's youth culture. Or, I could be making this all up. Read my story at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist: 1970s Edition

Have You Gone Mental?

2008-09-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

What do you get if you take the popular basic-cable sitcom Psych, about a fake psychic who aids the police in solving crimes, then make it twice as long and half as funny? You get The Mentalist, the new CBS show about a former fake psychic who uses his observational skills to track down criminals. If my description of it as a longer, less funny Psych seems negative, it's not meant to be. The show is actually pretty awesome, and I summarized the entire first episode for TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

The Mentalist: A Full Mental Recap

Free the Beef!

2008-09-26T05:04:00.000-07:00

We've all joked about Shia LaBeouf's run-ins with the law (the Walgreen's incident, the roll-over), but have you ever noticed that he runs afoul of the cops in most of his movies? Transformers, Holes, Disturbia... he spends half of his time in the legal system. Granted, run-ins with the law make for great cinema, but it seems like LaBeouf gets busted by the fuzz more often than not. With his new frame-up conspiracy movie Eagle Eye out in theatres, I hypothesized that, like in Eagle Eye, Shia had been framed all of those other times. Check out the police reports for all of Shia's movies at MoviesWithoutPity.com!

Shia LaBeouf: Suitable for Framing

The Stripping of Heidi Klum by William Shatner, and Other Amazing Stories

2008-09-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

I've been working for Television Without Pity for over four months now, and we've already reached the biggest event of the year for us: the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy awards! Now, I'm not usually an Emmy guy, but I've been watching (and reading the recaps of) a lot more TV lately, and as one of the site's editors I was given the task of recapping the Emmys as they happened. Not by myself, of course -- that would be cruel and unusual. So my co-worker Mindy Monez and I traded off every half-hour, chronicling the bad jokes, the technical difficulties and the simply unbelievable victories of the three-hour telecast. To read the fruits of our labors, check out the live recap at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

The 60th Primetime Emmy Awards: Every Ridonculous Minute

Steven Seagal is... Hard to Interview!

2008-09-22T17:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, Best Buy introduced their new Black Tie Protection service, an extension of the Geek Squad, at a press event in New York. To get the media to pay attention to this, they invited three famous "protectors" to come say nice things about them: Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver, Stargate: SG-1), Tanya Roberts (Charlie's Angels, A View to a Kill) and Steven Seagal (Hard to Kill, Marked for Death, Out for Justice... the list goes on and on). And pay attention I did: not only did I get to interview two of them, but I also got to witness one of the most bizarre celebrity freakouts I've ever seen, and the start of a possible Seagal/Roberts feud. Check out my articles at TelevisionWithoutPity.com!

Seagal: The Man, the Myth, the Interview

Touched by a Charlie's Angel: The Tanya Roberts Experience

Seagal vs. Roberts: The Fighting Over Lighting

Love is in the Air

2008-09-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of romance movies. If there's love story mixed in with other good stuff, like a sci-fi story (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) or a quirky bit of French surrealism (Amelie), then that's cool, but a straight-up romance like Atonement I just can't take. So, of course, I drew the short straw to write about this fall's new romance movies, and whether they were going to be worth seeing or total stinkers. I may have been a little biased towards the latter, but since only a few of them are straight-up romances, there are a few I wouldn't mind seeing, including, believe it or not, the next Kevin Smith movie. Check out my rundown at TelevisionWithoutPity.com:

Fall Movies: The Game of Love

Full Mental Jacket #5: Are Those Kids Yours?

2008-09-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

If not for its subtitle, "American Families With Children Adopted from Other Countries," the title "Are Those Kids Yours?" could have gone in several different directions. Here are some of the subtitles I would not have been surprised to see on this book:

"A Bobbsey Twins Mystery"

"The Unauthorized Biography of Brangelina"

"A Journal of Three Years Raising Goats in Northern Scotland"

"My Life as a Child Molester"

"...And Other Questions Fathers With Creepy Mustaches Get Asked, by Dave Barry"

It's just so wonderfully blunt, I can't stand it.

Only Human Resources

2008-09-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

I recently got the chance to participate in a conference call for one of my favorite TV shows, The Office, and the interview subjects were none other than show writer/producer Paul Lieberstein, who also plays HR moper Toby, and Academy Award winner Amy Ryan, who plays Toby's temporary HR replacement Holly. They were both super-nice, and while I only asked a couple of questions, there were some interesting facts about next season that came out. Read all about it at Television Without Pity:

Human Resources: Toby and Holly Talk Season 5 of The Office

Do Not Disturb? More like "Do Not Watch," Am I Right?

2008-09-11T10:21:00.001-07:00

I have a confession to make. I have never watched an episode of Arrested Development. But, having since discovered Michael Cera, rediscovered Jason Bateman and discovered that David Cross was actually on the show, I really want to go back and watch it. But after seeing the latest brainchild of the AD writers and producers, I don't know if I should. Do Not Disturb is one of the cheesiest, most stereotypical sitcoms I've seen in a long time. It has a few more gay characters in it, but it's still grade-A cheese. Want to read a summary of the Jason Bateman-directed premiere episode, with my commentary, in probably one-third the time it would take you to watch the thing? Then check out my recap at Television Without Pity:

Do Not Disturb: An Objector's Commentary

Full Mental Jacket #4: The Super Cops

2008-09-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

I was tempted to open -- and actually read -- The Super Cops, billed as "the true story of the cops called Batman & Robin," on more than one occasion. However, I was fairly positive that no matter how much they tried to make the cover look like a comic book, it would probably be fairly straightforward 1970s cop stories, none of which were interesting enough to get made into a movie starring Jackie Chan. Also, I'm pretty sure that Robin never had such a spectacular mustache.
The book did its best, though, even going so far as to make the back cover a collage of photos of the "Super Cops" in action, climbing fire escapes and jumping from rooftops, in what looks like a sequence straight out of the Beastie Boys' music video for "Sabotage." However, the publishers underestimated how little love I actually have for the Beastie Boys, as un-American as that may sound. In fact, "Sabotage" is the only thing they've ever done that I really enjoy -- plus, my friends used to call my 1981 Cadillac "the Sabotagemobile" because it looked like it belonged in that video. If they really wanted to get me, they would have showed the Super Cops climbing Bat-ropes up the side of a fake building, possibly with Sammy Davis Jr. peeking out the window in disbelief.

I'm Super, Thanks For Asking

2008-09-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

I stopped watching "Smallville" a long time ago, but I recently got an assignment to write an article about all of the comic-based superheroes and villains who have appeared on the show. I knew there were a few, since DC Direct was making action figures of some of them, but upon doing a little research, there are a hell of a lot! Now that it's entering its eighth season, they've dipped so deep into the well that thy've used Mr. Mxyzptlk and the Martian Manhunter. Check out my gallery of the show's costumed (more or less), comic-created characters at Television Without Pity.

Smallville: Real American Heroes (and Villains)

Bangkok Hilarious!

2008-09-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

I know it's a remake of a 1999 Thai movie, but not being familiar with the original, I was only introduced to the film title Bangkok Dangerous this past year, and it makes me smile every time I hear it. Why? Because the word "Bangkok" sounds dirty, and the phrase "Bangkok dangerous" sounds like pidgin English for "hot penile action might be hazardous to your health." And it got me thinking about other movie titles that sound dirty, in a "What are you, 12 years old?" kind of way. And, as further proof that I have the best job ever, I got paid to write about it. Check out my list at Movies Without Pity:

The Dirtiest Non-Porn Movie Titles

How I Met My Mother Tongue

2008-08-31T21:50:00.000-07:00

This past season, I really got into "How I Met Your Mother." Despite the presence of Neil Patrick Harris and one "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" cast member, I had originally dismissed it at face value as a seemingly unoriginal sitcom. (Ditto "Scrubs," which I eventually grew to love, and then hate.) I don't hate HIMYM yet, but I am only now finishing up the first season, and I've only seen bits and pieces of the second season, so give it time. I get a twinge of nostalgia every time I see Ted's Wesleyan T-shirt (my alma mater, as well as that of co-creator Carter Bays), and I love the extensive use of the word "awesome," which I also say a lot. In fact, the show's catchphrases are the subject of my most recent gallery at TelevisionWithout Pity.com, which you can read here:

How I Met Your Mother: The New Verbiage

Enjoy! - Z