The 1980s are Alive and Well on the Toy Auction Block

The 1980s! The decade where we got a glimpse of the future, and were amazed by its visions of flying cars, transforming trucks, and robots made of jungle animals. And while much is made of the music of the 1980s, it’s the toys of that era that have truly withstood the test of time. Hake’s Auctions has a variety of 1980s toys on the auction block this month, and they inspire dizzying levels of nostalgia, both for those who lived through it and those who wish they did. Check out some of the top items:

Hake's - MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1986) - ETERNIA SERIES 5 PLAYSET AFA 70 EX+.

Ah, Eternia – home of Snake Mountain, Castle Grayskull and a little-used monorail system that connects all three. Seriously, why did He-Man never take the monorail? It would have saved a lot of gas for the Air Raider and Sky Sled. Anyway, the Eternia playset featured the Battle Tram, Sky Cage and Jet Pack Fighter, and all seem like perfectly acceptable, all-electric forms of transportation. This massive box was marked down to $70 in 1986, but you’ll pay a little more for it today. Starting Bid: $5,000

Hake's - TRANSFORMERS (1985) SERIES 1 - OPTIMUS PRIME AFA 85 NM+ (HASBRO/IGA MEXICAN RELEASE).

Mas de lo que ves! That means “More than Meets the Eye” in Spanish, more or less, and that’s what it says on the box of this Mexican release of Optimus Prime. Much more rare than the US release, this version replaces the Tech Specs chart on his filecard with a full Spanish biography, just one of the many little touches that makes this a collector’s must-have. Current Bid: $2,000

Hake's - VOLTRON - DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE (1984) - PANOSH PLACE GIFT SET AFA 75 EX+/NM (WINDOW BOX).

Sure, you can gift someone a PART of Voltron, but then you need to know what lions they have, or which color is their favorite, or what body part they prefer to play with. Better to just gift them the full robot, with all five lions and a bevy of weapons. This gift set from 1984 is any kid’s (or adult’s) dream. Opening Bid: $1,000

Hake's - TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1988) - TURTLE BLIMP SERIES 1 VEHICLE AFA 85 NM+ (VIDEO GAME NOTICE).

You’ve gotta love the attitude rolling off the box for the Turtle Blimp by Playmates: “Blueprints included for easy-to-follow assembly. If you’re a know-it-all, chuck ‘em!” “Collect all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle accessories… or else!” “We’re four wild and crazy guys!” Okay, that last one was likely cribbed straight from 1970s SNL episodes, but overall we’d say the copywriter deserves a raise for making a blimp sound like a fun time. To seal the deal, it comes with a joke book. Opening Bid: $1,000

Hake's - THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS (1986) - FIRE STATION HEADQUARTERS SERIES 1 PLAYSET UKG 75%Q.

With the firehouse making a new appearance in the latest Ghostbusters film, demand is sure to double for the original 1986 Firehouse action playset by Kenner. The only downside to owning this graded, 75% rated (opened but not played with) boxed set is that you can’t play with the working firepole, ghost trap, containment unit and Goop Grates. Sure you can see them all on the box, but that’s gotta be torture. Starting Bid: $1,000

Hake's - M.A.S.K. (1985) - THUNDER HAWK SERIES 1 AFA 85 NM+ (SECOND RELEASE, LONG MASK).

While every MASK vehicle had its own appeal – the pickup, the semi, the motorcycle that turned into a helicopter – the most iconic was definitely the Thunder Hawk, a Camaro that turned into fighter jet. (Okay, “jet” is generous, it was really just a flying Camaro.) While this 1986 release spells out “Camaro” on the box for the first time, it also features some other minor differences from the 1985 release, not that anyone will be looking closely enough to care – they’ll be too busy admiring the picture of the flying Camaro. Starting Bid: $1,000

Hake's - G.I. JOE WEAPON TRANSPORT PROTOTYPE VEHICLE.

When was the last time you saw a prototype GI Joe vehicle? This all-grey model of the Weapon Transport is made of plastic and styrene, with part numbers labeled in marker. Sure, it’s missing a tire and has a few cracks in it, but this is a piece of history, a behind-the-scenes piece of an iconic American toy line. It’s your patriotic duty to place a bid, assuming you’re an American. If not, it’s still pretty darn cool. Starting Bid: $1,000

HONORABLE 1970s MENTION:

Hake's - MEGO WORLD'S GREATEST SUPERHEROES (1976) - AQUAMAN CARDED FIGURE AFA 75 EX+/NM.

The Mego Corporation is back, churning out pop-culture icons in the 8-inch scale on a regular basis, but they only recently regained the DC license at that scale, which they did so well with in the 1970s. This 1976 Aquaman is mint on card, with a clear blister and crisp green pants, and is one of only four examples graded by the AFA. Starting Bid: $2,000

HONORABLE 1960s MENTION:

Hake's - GILBERT JAMES BOND 007 THUNDERBALL ACTION FIGURE IN BOX.

While G.I. Joe was the first action figure, James Bond was hot on his trail! This 1965 Gilbert figure of James Bond as he appeared in Thunderball includes the likeness of Sean Connery, as well as a mask, snorkel and swim fins. Once you buy it, you have the right to remove the snorkel from the front of his pants, thereby avoiding awkward conversations. Starting Bid: $200

 

 

 

 

10 Greatest Films of ALL TIME NO SERIOUSLY

I promise you, I am NOT a film snob. Sure, I went to a school known for its film program, with a great film series, and I took several film classes, where I was shown some of the greatest movies from around the world. AND I later worked at a TV and movie website, where I was a film critic, telling people which films they should see and why. BUT the fact is that I am just a film lover, even more than a TV lover or a book lover. My tastes are pretty broad, but my first love will always be genre films: sci-fi and fantasy (not horror, usually), which is why my Top Ten includes a lot of those. Also, most are post-1985 -- I certainly enjoy "classics," like the Marx Brothers, Hitchcock, etc., but generally prefer newer films. This is in no particular order, and many are simply my favorites in a great director's entire body of work. So let's go! WARNING: You will most assuredly disagree.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

While I don't love EVERY John Hughes movie, I like a lot of them, and Ferris Bueller is the best of the best. I probably saw it too young, and wore it out on VHS. I envied Ferris' popularity and cute girlfriend, but identified more with Cameron Frye, the constantly put-upon best friend and second banana. Jennifer Grey's sister character reminded me of my own older sister, who was occasionally mad about me getting preferential treatment. The use of music, including the BOW-BOW song (which I will not look up the name of), the Star Wars theme, and of course "Danke Schoen/Twist and Shout" were genius, and the constant viewer-directed words of wisdom from Ferris were ones to live by. Plus, the city of Chicago is shown in great detail, making for a fun-filled visit if one were to re-enact the events of the movie's single day. 

The Avengers

I was a Marvel Comics fan growing up, and while I never really liked any of the media that it spawned (the FF movies, Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man, X-Men: The Animated Series), from the moment I heard they'd cast Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, I was intrigued. Then they delivered. Iron Man was great. Captain America was great. Thor was okay. And Avengers... was awesome. Seeing the characters interact, showing their personalities when confronted with people on their level, was handled amazingly. Iron Man arriving on the scene playing AC/DC, Hawkeye (my new most favoritest character) shooting down a ship without looking, Black Widow taking out three Russians while tied to a chair, Hulk saying "I'm always angry" -- even Tony Stark saying "That man is playing Galaga" made me laugh. After that, the films kept going and going, each one a great watch (up to a point), and I could do a Top Ten of just Marvel movies, but Avengers 1 is still the gold standard. 

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Very few movies I consider masterpieces. Most of the movies made by Edgar Wright are close. In another world, Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead would be on this list. But the larger-than-life superheroics, extensive use of graphics and effects and the comedic performances by Michael Cera and the rest of the amazing cast make Scott Pilgrim a masterpiece. Chris Evans' self-centered actor character, Brandon Routh's hunky vegan, Kieran Culkin's flirty roommate, Alison Pill's sullen drummer, Alison Brie's femme fatale, Aubrey Plaza's judgmental sister, Jason Schwartzman's final boss... it's a hell of a cast. Plus Mary Elizabeth Winstead! And the random appearance by Thomas Jane as one of the Vegan Police is the icing on the cake. Full disclosure: I could not get into the comic (the art bothers me) and I do not play video games (luckily most of the video game jokes are pretty straightforward). So this movie succeeds IN SPITE OF MY IGNORANCE. I love it.

Watchmen

Adapting one of the greatest comics of all time -- not a tall order, right? And Zack Snyder is a director who certainly divides the population. AND YET! This movie takes a comic with tons of tiny little boxes (sometimes nine per page) and stretches them out in slow-mo to make every character look awesomely badass. Sure, the movie COULD have depicted all of the superheroes as pathetic fetishists, and maybe they still are, but as you see in the comics, they can still kick ass when it's called for, and this movie is full of ass-kicking. Add in top-notch special effects, including a character that glows constantly, a mask that shifts patterns constantly and a flying ship that looks like an owl, and you've got what may be a masterpiece. Sure, they changed the ending, but I'll be totally honest, the ending to the comic would be totally unbelievable outside of, well, comics. I have no problem with it. 

The Royal Tenenbaums

Wes Anderson is another director who produces masterpieces. Every tiny detail adds to the overall feeling that each movie is completely and utterly perfect. But some movies are more perfect than others, and Royal Tenenbaums is one of them. The cast is unbelievable, the costuming is quirky, the music is, as always, sublime -- Ramones, Velvet Underground, Rolling Stones... Little dialogue snippets have made their way into my daily use: "I see you, asshole!" "Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular." "That cab has a dent in it." And did I mention the cast? Gwyneth Paltrow, Bill Murray, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Danny Glover, Angelica Huston, Owen Wilson, all playing very sad, broken characters. And yet the use of regular flashbacks to their upbringing and traumas manages to be hilarious anyway. 

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

Tim Burton has a style unlike any other. His Batman films, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice... all are visual tour de forces, largely set in artificial worlds that transport you out of the real one. But Pee-Wee Herman, who lived in an artificial world on TV, is forced into the real world when his bike is stolen, and it's his childlike sense of humor paired with the people and locations he visits that makes it such a magical movie. Infinitely quotable, and yet with very few big-name actors in it, this is the perfect film that the sequel could not live up to. Plus, the distinctive soundtrack by the inimitable Danny Elfman is so rich that it could support an entirely silent version of the movie and it would be just as good. 

Tron: Legacy

I will admit that, beyond the visuals, I am not a fan of the original Tron movie. It's very slow and pretty dated. So this update is well-deserved. And what an update! Mind-blowing effects, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Michael Sheen and another Jeff Bridges deliver, and even the new kid does pretty well. Plus, the soundtrack is by one of my favorite musical acts, Daft Punk! (Airhorn sound.) But seriously, the way they update the disc battles, the lightcycle battles, the costumes, everything makes this movie bigger than life. Seeing a critics' preview on an IMAX screen certainly helped, but even on a TV, it's a peek inside another world that deserves and is apparently going to get a sequel.

The Iron Giant

I almost cut this movie to put it on an animated movie Top Ten, but then I decided to leave it on this one, because it's just that good. The heartwarming story of a boy and his giant fricking robot could have been saccharine and cloying, but it has just enough edge to keep it in a world where adults can enjoy it. The lovable, childlike innocence of the giant makes him appealing, with just enough underlying menace to keep you on your toes, much like the background discussion of a potential nuclear war with Russia. Hogarth Hughes, his beatnik friend, his worried mom, the government agent who tracks him down, all are great characters, and the voice acting by Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick Jr., Chris McDonald, Vin Diesel, John Mahoney, and M. Emmet Walsh make them believable. And the ending made me cry. There, I said it.

Gentlemen Broncos

Jared and Jerusha Hess made Napoleon Dynamite, and some would leave their contributions to cinema there, but they followed it up with a brilliant, hilarious movie that does not get enough recognition. Jemaine Clement is perfectly cast as the pretentious sci-fi author, who steals the story of a teenager and passes it off as his own, and Sam Rockwell is amazing as the character in that story -- in two different versions of the same story, no less. Plus Jennifer Coolidge is endearing as the enterprising mom. The low-budget effects and blatant homage to Krull give the movie more sci-fi/fantasy cred than it needs, and the directors' trademark awkward encounters, unusual set details and plain weird supporting characters are on full display.

Joe Vs. The Volcano

Yes, yes, Tom Hanks is a great actor. We all know this, but he doesn't get enough credit for his early comedic work, with most people preferring to worship him post-Philadelphia. Big is a great film, as are Volunteers and Turner and Hooch, but Joe vs. the Volcano is the best of them. HIs transition from working-class (albeit white collar) sad sack to international man of adventure is suitably epic, plus this is the first of his three pairings with Meg Ryan, who plays THREE ROLES in this movie. With a supporting cast of Lloyd Bridges, Dan Hedaya, Robert Stack and Abe Vigoda, this fanciful world is fleshed out impressively, and the running gag about his indestructible luggage never fails to delight. 

That's it! Hope you enjoyed it, or at least came away from it with some other movies to try out. What are your Top Ten? Comment below!

Back in Time: 1999

 

In 1999, I was a senior in college, and I was writing a humor column for my school newspaper. Most were about school-specific things, but one was about the weather. ...It's funnier than it sounds, in my opinion, so I'm posting it here. You can find the rest on my old Angelfire site, but I don't recommend it, as it seems to be under Russian control now.

Ice, Ice Baby (yes, that was the title)

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I was born and raised in Connecticut. I also spent a few years in Rhode Island, but that isn't important right now. Actually, it wasn't important then, either. The whole state hasn't really done much since the war. (The Revolutionary War. They landed a massive force on Nantucket, I think.) The point is that Connecticut weather is nothing new to me. A period of snow followed by a period of hail followed by a period of rain followed by a high in the sixties has been going on since I was a kid. Probably even earlier than that, unless my birth coincided with a massive ecological disaster.

(May 16, 1977, 2:22 pm: A croquet court in Danbury.

"Excellent shot, old bean!"

"Thank you, old chap."

"I say - it's rather hot out again today! Would you like a lemonade?"

"Yes, thank you, I'd OH MY GOD! RUN! RUUUUNNNNN!"

At this point a hurricane materializes above them, sweeps them up, and deposits them in the air over a soft, fetid marsh. On their way down, however, the marsh becomes firm, arable farmland and they are killed on impact.)

Connecticut winters can be mellow some years, but for the most part they are cruel, unforgiving masters. My childhood memories are full of stories of terrible snowstorms. Unfortunately, my adult memories are full of more adult things, like credit card debts and what happened in the last issue of Captain America, so these childhood memories are either lost or have been removed by shadowy government agencies.

I do know that during the blizzard of 1977 my mom had to actually park on another street and walk to my house, primarily because no one has dared to plow my street since those two climbers were killed on its south face. ("It's not a driveway, it's a scream of stone," said my uncle, who lost both thumbs to "Ol' Fingersnatcher.") My mother had to trudge through a foot of snow carrying me in one arm, a bag of groceries in another arm, and my two-year old sister in the third arm, which she had grafted on after I was born for just such an occasion.

As much fun as the winters are in Connecticut, my family reluctantly bid a fond adieu in the summer of 1993 and moved to the Caribbean, where the beginning of winter is marked by an intense heat wave that generally leaves 15% of the population dead or extremely uncomfortable. We spent that Christmas on St. John, watching the egg nog evaporate, but the next year we did exactly what everyone else didn't and flew to Connecticut for the holidays. The minute I stepped off the plane, I felt the bone-chilling embrace of the land that I loved, and I knew then that I wouldn't be happy unless I spent the next four years in constant fear of losing a toe to frostbite.

Why Wesleyan, you might ask? Why not Brown, or Harvard, or another one of those big, interdependent ivy league schools? To tell you the truth, I wanted a bitter, frigid winter that only an urban environment like Middletown could offer me. Small towns like Boston and Providence - sure, they may have more TV shows filmed there, but they certainly don't offer the dangerous driving conditions that a city like Middletown can provide. The state of Alaska (State slogan: "Help us... please!") used to offer both dangerous driving conditions and the filming of TV shows, but "Northern Exposure" was canceled a few years ago and the use of sled dogs in the place of cars has led to fewer traffic accidents, if more maulings.

Earlier this winter, a friend of mine from Alaska restated his annual claim that winters in Connecticut were "wimpy" or "gutless" or something equally negative. He felt that Alaskan winters were superior in length, intensity and overall toll on human life. This morning he was found frozen in his bed, curled in the fetal position with his stiff sheets stuck to his skin, which was a bright shade of cerulean blue. (His death is attributed to the fact that heat rises, and that his window was missing.) His pre-mortem opinions were not unshared; in fact, one out of every two Alaskans harbors a deep resentment towards Connecticut, primarily because Connecticut beats Alaska at everything except killing Alaskans. (Recent Alaskan deaths may affect these figures.)

Basically, Connecticut is incredible. I can't remember what state has the saying "If you don't like the weather ... wait five minutes," but it should be Connecticut. Connecticut needs more sayings. Like:

"If you don't like the weather ... go to Alaska."

Or: "If you don't like the weather ... wait until winter gets here, then you'll be sorry, fool!"

Alaska has some good sayings, too. Their big one is:

"If you don't like getting mauled by a sled dog, well, that's just too bad, isn't it? You shouldn't have moved to Alaska."

ToyFare and Wizard Memories

The Wizard, ToyFare, Anime Insider and Inquest staffs, wearing the spoils of the ToyFare Scavenger Hunt, in 2006.

Even though everyone I know has already written something about the cancellation of the print editions of Wizard and ToyFare magazines (they'll continue online) I felt I had to write something here, since I was there for a good long while. Obviously, I'm sad that some of my few remaining friends there are now unemployed, and I'm also vaguely sad about the slow death of print, but I'm also glad that I made a lot of friends in my time there. I've included links to many of their reactions at the bottom of the page, but I wanted to share some of my memories of the place. (I know it still exists as a company, but it's mostly unrecognizable from what it was, so the hell with it. Also, sorry that my visual history is mostly pictures of me.)

Wizard Office Tour @ Yahoo! Video

A mid-2000s tour of the Wizard offices with Kiel Phegley.

Throughout the 1990s, my brother and I read Wizard regularly, having discovered it at the same time Image Comics took off (WildCATs cover!), and we actually got our Hellboy custom figure featured in their Homemade Heroes section. I had only read a few issues of ToyFare when I interviewed for a copy editor position in the summer of 1999, but I had writing and editing experience, and I'd spent the summer after graduation working for a small novelty company. I started in September 1999, in time for one of the last office scavenger hunts, in which carloads of Wizardites criss-crossed Rockland County, NY, to find a list of random items. The tradition was on its way out, as was the famous Wizard Halloween costume party, but people still dressed up every year for as long as I was there, with varying participation rates. (At left, me as Ash in the cluttered ToyFare office in 2000.)

Hellboy custom figure, made from a Masters of the Universe Fisto. Head sculpted by Ash Oat.

My Halloween costume of Kraven, co-opted for a Wizard Bunny letters-column photo shoot.

In addition to appearing in photo shoots, I also assisted Editor-in-Chief Pat McCallum with them, including Twisted Mego Theatre, later Twisted ToyFare Theatre.  Eventually, it was just me working with our photographer, Paul Schiraldi, then it was just me by myself, which meant I could work into the early morning hours in a dark, creaky warehouse. (A bad habit my lovely girlfriend-now-wife Melissa eventually talked me out of.) Back there, I scared myself on a regular basis, and would regularly check over my shoulder to make sure Pat wasn't sneaking up on me, which happened more often than I liked. He was a notorious prankster, throwing dummies off of roofs and wrapping offices in aluminum foil. (Note the foil-wrapped action figure hanging from the ceiling in the Ash picture. A reminder to never forget.) He and I were also regular cosplayers at Wizard conventions, along with Research Editor Dan Reilly. Pat was Galactus, and Dan and I played Doctor Doom. Dan was the hardest-working man in show business, and he was only recently let go when the print editions ended.

Me and wrestler Mick Foley, at the JAKKS Pacific showroom during Toy Fair. 

Paul Schiraldi also photographed New York Toy Fair for us every year, but eventually Dan, research assistant Dylan Brucie and I were the ones shooting it, once Paul was scaled back to just covers and photo spreads. (To be fair, most of the photography he was doing for us -- head shots, toys on white backdrops, etc. -- was a waste of his prodigious talent.) When I became ToyFare editor, Dylan and later Alex Kropinak took over shooting TTT, with me approving photos, and Krope used his animation skills to make TTT shorts like the one below. (After watching it, find the other four on YouTube. They're all pretty special.)



Over my eight and a half years, I saw a lot of people come and go, and while many left to pursue better opportunities -- my path up the ToyFare ladder was mostly cleared by people quitting, thankfully -- many were fired. The company regularly swelled to seating capacity in times of growth only to contract to its previous size after a year or two. I saw at least two or three purges in my time there, which meant a lot of my friends were let go, although many got out ahead of a purge -- the purge of early 2008 was what prompted me to leave, since a lot of my best friends at the company were gone by that point. A group of us had a tradition of getting together every few months for a Manly Movie marathon, which ran late into the night, but without us all at least working in the same town, it became more difficult to coordinate. (Luckily, there's still a semi-regular lunch in Manhattan.)

 The Wizard gang at the first MMM in 2005. Photo and kitchen by Adam Tracey.

The gang reunited, for lunch in Bryant Park, 2010, with holographic Mel Caylo. Photo by Kropinak.

The magazines weren't what they once were, but it was more than just a page reduction, it was the loss of a lot of these great writers and editors. No offense to those who were, and are, still working there -- my good friend Justin Aclin was still kicking ass on ToyFare, and doing it with fewer people than I had, but now everything's changed. I'm anxious to see how the ToyFare model will change once it hits the Web, and how both Wizard and ToyFare will compete with the numerous sites out there that already do what they do.

Our first (and last) holiday buyer's guide video. After I hawk the toys, Kiel does comics.

My fellow alumni's reactions to the news:

Rob Bricken - Editor of Topless Robot, former editor of Anime Insider, and one of my best friends since 2001.
Doug Goldstein - Robot Chicken writer, former Wizard Specials editor, and my former boss.
Alex Segura, Ben Morse and Mel Caylo (industry round-up) - Former DC/current Archie marketing guru, Marvel.com editor and Archaia marketing guy, respectively. All former Wizard writers/editors.
Mel Caylo (in podcast form) - Still Archaia, still fluffy.
Ryan Penagos - Former Wizard price guide editor, current Marvel.com editor, superstar @Agent_M on Twitter.
Sean T. Collins - Comics journalist, zombie connoisseur and former Wizard editor.
Chris Ward - Former Wizard writer, current loose cannon, future musical superstar, not the rapper.
Poe Ghostal - Longtime ToyFare freelancer.

Transformers: The Marvel Books Years

I recently dug up one of my childhood story books, about the Transformers. It was a Marvel Books publication, about 10 by 10 inches, paperback -- the same size as some of the He-Man Golden Books that came out back then. (Marvel Books also did a Fantastic Four story that I have.) He-Man artist Earl Norem did the art in it, and he also did another one I have, which is the origin story. This one is about the Autobots wanting to win a road rally, because the prize is oil and gas, and the Autobots are basically homeless people who beg for food. The Decepticons try to stop them, of course, and things get pretty vicious. Frenzy destroys a bridge, Hound blows up real good, and Optimus... well, I'll let these three pictures tell the whole story. Warning: Optimus Prime has a mouth. It's frightening.

Just so you know, the evil-looking car Optimus is hitting with a telephone pole is being driven by none other than Megatron. Just in case you thought Prime was knocking his human competition into the stratosphere.

The Joy of Zach: January 9, 2011

As I sat watching the mediocre first episode of The Cape, I took a moment to check out my Television Without Pity blog posting, where I said I was looking forward to the first episode. Someone named NBC Hater either saw it and hated it or was pre-judging based on extant reviews, because he called me a corporate shill. Hooray! (I still think it's better than Heroes and No Ordinary Family, but that's not saying much.) Now on to my other writing...

The biggest news of the past few weeks is that I got the opportunity to interview Ron Perlman, one of my favorite actors, in person, for Season of the Witch. You can read the interview here, although my questions have been made to sound more eloquent and less like a nervous fan talking to his idol.

My movie reviews: True Grit, Gulliver's Travels, Little Fockers, Rabbit Hole, Season of the Witch and Barney's Version. (Lesson learned from my Gulliver's Travels review: never say you're on the fence about a film that has already been mostly negatively reviewed, especially one starring Jack Black. People will call you a bad a reviewer and/or to drop dead.) I also saw The Fighter over the holidays with Melissa, and I loved it, as I do most sports movies; Mindy Monez did a great review for TWoP you can read here.

My latest galleries: Nic Cage's witch-hunting tips, the most dysfunctional movie couples and Jack Black's most annoying roles. All exhaustingly researched.

I did a more in-depth analysis of this year's Golden Globes nominations for movies, calling out which movies I thought would win, which should win, and which got overlooked. A lot of my personal picks are likely winners, although who can predict these things? Uh, I mean, who can predict them besides me?

The Winter 2011 movie previews are up, and I personally handled Animation, Action/Thrillers and Sci-Fi/Horror/Fantasy. (Mindy did Comedies and Dramas.) See what's coming up in your favorite genres!

On Twitter, I finished up this year's run on @MisterKrampus, the Twitter account of the famous holiday punisher of naughty children, and some friends and I just started @SmrtConsumer, which is entirely fake reviews of fictional products.

On a sadder note, I'll probably be ceasing work on the Pop Sculpture Twitter and blog, but the book's been out for months, and I don't have the time to promote it any more. It's like watching your child go off to college, and then cutting off all communication with him.

Back soon!

The Joy of Zach: December 18, 2010

I somehow let two weeks slip by without updating, so I've got a lot to tell you about! Mostly TWoP pieces, but it feels good to see how much I've done there.

- We're doing a lot of year-end wrap-ups at TWoP, including a piece on our favorite movies of the year, which I wrote maybe 70 percent of, and our most hated movies, which I did maybe 40%. What can I say, I'm a positive person.

- My reviews for the past week have been The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Tourist and, just today, Tron: Legacy. One I liked, one I loved, and one I despised with a passion. Read 'em to find out which! Next week I review True Grit and Gulliver's Travels, which I expect to be similarly divided on.

- To tie in to Tron: Legacy, I did a couple of photo galleries: the best and worst virtual realities in film, and other actors who should meet their younger, CGI selves on the big screen, like Jeff Bridges does in Tron. The latter one I'm pretty proud of, if only for the split-panel shots I put together. I also compared Narnia to Middle-Earth, and I jumped the gun and updated our best movie eyepatches gallery for True Grit. I love that gallery.

- I still haven't seen The Fighter, but that didn't stop me from writing a Mark Wahlberg set diary, and from converting my list of the best movies about fighting to a gallery, to tie in to the movie.

- Awards season began in earnest this week, and I posted my responses to the SAG Awards nominations and the Golden Globes. My comment on how wacky the foreign press's picks seem to me was interpreted as American superiority, when I merely meant that different cultures like different things. Like The Tourist, for example.

- Back in the Moviefile, with Yogi Bear coming out this weekend (I won't be reviewing), I ran down some classic Hanna-Barbera animated properties that should get the big screen treatment. I focused more on the action shows than the talking animal shows, because Yogi looks like a train wreck. Think less Hong Kong Phooey, more Herculoids. I also did a fun (I thought) piece on directors who should take over Iron Man 3 now that Jon Favreau's gone.

- I posted a rundown of all of my co-author Ruben Procopio's upcoming projects over at the Pop Sculpture blog. I was actually surprised to find out about some of them, and my rekindled love of Tron has me craving a couple of his pieces. But I've been denying myself even a $10 light-up Tron action figure, so I probably won't be buying myself a bust or statue any time soon. Let me know if the picures don't load for you, because I can't see them half the time.

The Joy of Zach: December 6, 2010

Welcome back to your one-stop shop for the writing of Zach Oat! This week it's pretty much all Television Without Pity, since I've been inactive on the LAW Blog and the Pop Sculpture Blog, where Tim has been posting his multi-part Jacob Marley bust tutorial. However, since it's Krampus Day, I just started updating the @MisterKrampus Twitter account again! Naughty boys and girls, beware!

- My latest movie reviews for TV Without Pity are The King's Speech and Black Swan, which is probably my favorite Aronofsky film so far, and in support of that I came up with a list of star Natalie Portman's best and worst roles. Putting The Professional on the "Worst" list was painful, but it was something I had to come to terms with.

- The first season of The Walking Dead ended on Sunday, and it also marked the end of the writer's room on the show -- going forward, it's going to be all freelancers under showrunner Frank Darabont. God only knows how that'll work out, but at TWoP we're pretty much all in agreement that the show needs new writers. I was chosen to express our reasoning in song. Well, singable prose.

- Last weekend we lost a great actor in Leslie Nielsen and a great director in Irvin Kershner, so I wrote a couple of posts, one about Nielsen's greatest roles and another about Kershner's other two great sequels that aren't Empire Strikes Back.

- I knew it was too unbelievable to be true when I heard that the Farrelly brothers were going to try to relaunch the Three Stooges in a feature film starring Jim Carrey, Sean Penn and Benicio Del Toro... and it was. The movie changed studios, and Penn and Carrey left, so I decided to re-cast the roles. My buddy Jon Abrams had his own ideas -- but we agreed on one Moe, kinda.

Next week: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and Tron: Legacy!

The Joy of Zach: November 24, 2010

Hey, all. I realize I haven't posted on this blog in a long time, but that's because I blog as part of my day job, and, well, I'm not usually that inspired to write on my blog once I get home. But then I realized: there's no one central place to see everything I write. Since my multi-blogging buddy Jon Abrams asked about it, and successfully posts on several blogs regularly, I figured I'd start doing a writing wround-up every week of my published (well not really published, but you know, fake-published) work. I give you the Joy of Zach!

- This week, I have reviews of Love and Other Drugs, Faster and Tangled up at TWoP.com. I loved Tangled. Best non-Pixar Disney movie since The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The others? Not so much. Also, I reviewed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last week , and I hope to see it again with the missus.

- I also posted my reaction to the Green Lantern trailer. I'm gonna see it, and it looks like fun, but I still think Ryan Reynolds (whom I love) was miscast, and Blake Lively looks awful.

- My massive holiday movie preview is also up, showcasing all the big movies coming out between Thanksgiving and New Year's. I gotta say, besides Tron: Legacy and Black Swan and True Grit and maybe Somewhere, there's not a ton I'm excited about. Although that's plenty, I suppose.

- Tim Bruckner and I've been doing a lot on the Pop Sculpture blog, since the book came out a month ago (less than that on Amazon, due to some kind of glitch), and the last thing I did was an interview with contributor Jim McPherson, who's a digital sculptor at Gentle Giant. He also used to sculpt makeup effects with Rick Baker, and he actually sculpted stretchy-face Ash in Army of Darkness, which makes him aces in my book.

- I also post on the Real LAW Blog along with some of my writer friends, and we take turns picking characters to draw. The last pick was the Ghostbusters, so I drew them fighting Geist, from Justin Aclin's Hero House. I'm probably going to back off for a while, and give some of the other guys a chance to post their drawings, but you can see my older stuff here.

Well, that's it for this short week, but here are a couple of Thanksgiving cartoons I drew last year for a contest that I've never published anywhere. Zachsclusive!

Pop Sculpture is On Its Way!

So my book is almost done. It's written and designed, and it's getting redesigned as we speak, but Tim Bruckner, Rubén Procopio and I have decided to start the buzz early and build to its October release! To that end, we've created a Facebook page, a Twitter account and a blog. I highly recommend following one or all, because we're gonna have sneak peeks (not sneak peaks, which are surprise mountains) of the book, and nuggets of wisdom from our various contributors for the next six months, and probably beyond that.

I also highly recommend you check out the LAW Blog, which is where I and a bunch of my friends and former co-workers have been posting our artistic interpretations of comic book and cartoon characters. If you think a blog where a bunch of writers post their drawings sounds lame, you are dead wrong.