Tuesday, May 7, 2024

10 Greatest Films of ALL TIME NO SERIOUSLY

I promise you, I am NOT a film snob. Sure, I went to a school known for its film program, with a great film series, and I took several film classes, where I was shown some of the greatest movies from around the world. AND I later worked at a TV and movie website, where I was a film critic, telling people which films they should see and why. BUT the fact is that I am just a film lover, even more than a TV lover or a book lover. My tastes are pretty broad, but my first love will always be genre films: sci-fi and fantasy (not horror, usually), which is why my Top Ten includes a lot of those. Also, most are post-1985 -- I certainly enjoy "classics," like the Marx Brothers, Hitchcock, etc., but generally prefer newer films. This is in no particular order, and many are simply my favorites in a great director's entire body of work. So let's go! WARNING: You will most assuredly disagree.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

While I don't love EVERY John Hughes movie, I like a lot of them, and Ferris Bueller is the best of the best. I probably saw it too young, and wore it out on VHS. I envied Ferris' popularity and cute girlfriend, but identified more with Cameron Frye, the constantly put-upon best friend and second banana. Jennifer Grey's sister character reminded me of my own older sister, who was occasionally mad about me getting preferential treatment. The use of music, including the BOW-BOW song (which I will not look up the name of), the Star Wars theme, and of course "Danke Schoen/Twist and Shout" were genius, and the constant viewer-directed words of wisdom from Ferris were ones to live by. Plus, the city of Chicago is shown in great detail, making for a fun-filled visit if one were to re-enact the events of the movie's single day. 

The Avengers

I was a Marvel Comics fan growing up, and while I never really liked any of the media that it spawned (the FF movies, Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man, X-Men: The Animated Series), from the moment I heard they'd cast Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, I was intrigued. Then they delivered. Iron Man was great. Captain America was great. Thor was okay. And Avengers... was awesome. Seeing the characters interact, showing their personalities when confronted with people on their level, was handled amazingly. Iron Man arriving on the scene playing AC/DC, Hawkeye (my new most favoritest character) shooting down a ship without looking, Black Widow taking out three Russians while tied to a chair, Hulk saying "I'm always angry" -- even Tony Stark saying "That man is playing Galaga" made me laugh. After that, the films kept going and going, each one a great watch (up to a point), and I could do a Top Ten of just Marvel movies, but Avengers 1 is still the gold standard. 

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Very few movies I consider masterpieces. Most of the movies made by Edgar Wright are close. In another world, Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead would be on this list. But the larger-than-life superheroics, extensive use of graphics and effects and the comedic performances by Michael Cera and the rest of the amazing cast make Scott Pilgrim a masterpiece. Chris Evans' self-centered actor character, Brandon Routh's hunky vegan, Kieran Culkin's flirty roommate, Alison Pill's sullen drummer, Alison Brie's femme fatale, Aubrey Plaza's judgmental sister, Jason Schwartzman's final boss... it's a hell of a cast. Plus Mary Elizabeth Winstead! And the random appearance by Thomas Jane as one of the Vegan Police is the icing on the cake. Full disclosure: I could not get into the comic (the art bothers me) and I do not play video games (luckily most of the video game jokes are pretty straightforward). So this movie succeeds IN SPITE OF MY IGNORANCE. I love it.

Watchmen

Adapting one of the greatest comics of all time -- not a tall order, right? And Zack Snyder is a director who certainly divides the population. AND YET! This movie takes a comic with tons of tiny little boxes (sometimes nine per page) and stretches them out in slow-mo to make every character look awesomely badass. Sure, the movie COULD have depicted all of the superheroes as pathetic fetishists, and maybe they still are, but as you see in the comics, they can still kick ass when it's called for, and this movie is full of ass-kicking. Add in top-notch special effects, including a character that glows constantly, a mask that shifts patterns constantly and a flying ship that looks like an owl, and you've got what may be a masterpiece. Sure, they changed the ending, but I'll be totally honest, the ending to the comic would be totally unbelievable outside of, well, comics. I have no problem with it. 

The Royal Tenenbaums

Wes Anderson is another director who produces masterpieces. Every tiny detail adds to the overall feeling that each movie is completely and utterly perfect. But some movies are more perfect than others, and Royal Tenenbaums is one of them. The cast is unbelievable, the costuming is quirky, the music is, as always, sublime -- Ramones, Velvet Underground, Rolling Stones... Little dialogue snippets have made their way into my daily use: "I see you, asshole!" "Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular." "That cab has a dent in it." And did I mention the cast? Gwyneth Paltrow, Bill Murray, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Danny Glover, Angelica Huston, Owen Wilson, all playing very sad, broken characters. And yet the use of regular flashbacks to their upbringing and traumas manages to be hilarious anyway. 

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

Tim Burton has a style unlike any other. His Batman films, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice... all are visual tour de forces, largely set in artificial worlds that transport you out of the real one. But Pee-Wee Herman, who lived in an artificial world on TV, is forced into the real world when his bike is stolen, and it's his childlike sense of humor paired with the people and locations he visits that makes it such a magical movie. Infinitely quotable, and yet with very few big-name actors in it, this is the perfect film that the sequel could not live up to. Plus, the distinctive soundtrack by the inimitable Danny Elfman is so rich that it could support an entirely silent version of the movie and it would be just as good. 

Tron: Legacy

I will admit that, beyond the visuals, I am not a fan of the original Tron movie. It's very slow and pretty dated. So this update is well-deserved. And what an update! Mind-blowing effects, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Michael Sheen and another Jeff Bridges deliver, and even the new kid does pretty well. Plus, the soundtrack is by one of my favorite musical acts, Daft Punk! (Airhorn sound.) But seriously, the way they update the disc battles, the lightcycle battles, the costumes, everything makes this movie bigger than life. Seeing a critics' preview on an IMAX screen certainly helped, but even on a TV, it's a peek inside another world that deserves and is apparently going to get a sequel.

The Iron Giant

I almost cut this movie to put it on an animated movie Top Ten, but then I decided to leave it on this one, because it's just that good. The heartwarming story of a boy and his giant fricking robot could have been saccharine and cloying, but it has just enough edge to keep it in a world where adults can enjoy it. The lovable, childlike innocence of the giant makes him appealing, with just enough underlying menace to keep you on your toes, much like the background discussion of a potential nuclear war with Russia. Hogarth Hughes, his beatnik friend, his worried mom, the government agent who tracks him down, all are great characters, and the voice acting by Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick Jr., Chris McDonald, Vin Diesel, John Mahoney, and M. Emmet Walsh make them believable. And the ending made me cry. There, I said it.

Gentlemen Broncos

Jared and Jerusha Hess made Napoleon Dynamite, and some would leave their contributions to cinema there, but they followed it up with a brilliant, hilarious movie that does not get enough recognition. Jemaine Clement is perfectly cast as the pretentious sci-fi author, who steals the story of a teenager and passes it off as his own, and Sam Rockwell is amazing as the character in that story -- in two different versions of the same story, no less. Plus Jennifer Coolidge is endearing as the enterprising mom. The low-budget effects and blatant homage to Krull give the movie more sci-fi/fantasy cred than it needs, and the directors' trademark awkward encounters, unusual set details and plain weird supporting characters are on full display.

Joe Vs. The Volcano

Yes, yes, Tom Hanks is a great actor. We all know this, but he doesn't get enough credit for his early comedic work, with most people preferring to worship him post-Philadelphia. Big is a great film, as are Volunteers and Turner and Hooch, but Joe vs. the Volcano is the best of them. HIs transition from working-class (albeit white collar) sad sack to international man of adventure is suitably epic, plus this is the first of his three pairings with Meg Ryan, who plays THREE ROLES in this movie. With a supporting cast of Lloyd Bridges, Dan Hedaya, Robert Stack and Abe Vigoda, this fanciful world is fleshed out impressively, and the running gag about his indestructible luggage never fails to delight. 

That's it! Hope you enjoyed it, or at least came away from it with some other movies to try out. What are your Top Ten? Comment below!

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